Yes, I lay blame squarely at his feet. It's all his fault. He is entirely to blame.
He got sick.
And because he got sick he got it longer, worser and was sicker than any of the rest of us combined. And worser is a word in my house. Go ask my daughter if you don't believe me. She'll tell you it's true.
Dare I say more???
I think not.
I'm linking up with Sunday over at Adventures in Extreme Parenthood today. Go clickety-click on over and see what I'm talking about. She does great things.
We entered Spring Break and at exactly the same time as we do every morning, at 7:01 with my son coming in and announcing to the free world, "MOM, IT'S 7:01AM, TIME TO GET UP!!!!!"
I don't know why I thought today would be any different but it wasn't.
Then my dear boy announced to the free world and right into my ear, "SINCE IT'S SPRING BREAK I GET TO PLAY MY I-TOUCH ALL DAY. I'M GOING TO PLAY MY I-TOUCH ALL DAY STARTING...RIGHT....ABOUT.....NOW!"
Darned if he didn't go racing downstairs and proceeded to play his i-Touch. I let things go on for about an hour and said, "Hey guys, lets turn those things off and eat some breakfast."
This is what I think they heard: "Hey guys, lets go get a dental exam and get all our teeth pulled without novocaine. Or I know, lets go out and weed the garden or get eaten by Zombies. Or both. And after that, lets go to the doctor and get blood drawn because when we're Zombies we won't need blood. Ohhhh!!! That sounds like a plan."
And here's where I take a momentary deep breath and think of any other yoga pose except the downward dog to try and center myself from the maelstrom that just erupted in the center of my living room.
Oh My Frigging Lord He Went Unhinged. The other two took his lead and lets just say they were in it to win it.
He didn't want to turn off his i-Touch. He was greatly opposed to the idea.
According to Alex I have approximately 250 more hours to go.
Yay Spring Break.
And now all I can think about is the downward dog.
Your welcome.
Our spring break is the first week in April. I am NOT a fan.
ReplyDeleteHowever, your poster is awesome and I wish Ryan would come over and be my nanny for that week.
I never thought of him coming over.......hummmm, all the possibilities.....
DeleteI think the only one worse than downward dog is the baby pose. There is NOTHING about pulling my knees up to my chest and then trying to lay on them that I find relaxing. NOTHING.
ReplyDeleteSo here's the deal. The i-thingie dilemma? Just go with it. They're going to eventually need to eat and when they do, you'll hear from them. Wanna be mom of the year like me? Plunk a cup of Pediasure and a bowl of potato chips in front of each of 'em and let them i-thingie their little hearts out. Cause guess what? Spring break is only a week long. That's only like six liters of Jack Daniels and one liter of vodka (you want a little variety, after all).
Wishing you luck and dreading the fact that I'll be standing in your shoes in a couple weeks. Hang in there!
I may have to google the baby pose but I'm afraid of the ensuing eye rape.
DeleteAnd variety??? I HEART variety.
We do Carnation Instant Breakfast with Cheese Balls...there has to be nutrition in there somewhere, right? Right??
You mean we're not supposed to let them stim on the electronic devices all day every day during break. Crap. But they're so quiet. I'll admit, I used the ipads like big kid pacifiers. Some days my sanity depends on it.
ReplyDeleteAHAHAHAHAAAAA @ "I used the ipads like big kid pacifiers. Some days my sanity depends on it."
DeleteOoooh, Lizbeth, I *heart* your Ryan Gosling... I think he'd make a great nanny!! **quietly thinks of all the possibilites**
OMG, Amanda big pacifiers, I never thought of it like that but you are SOOOOO RIGHT!!!! And yeah mine's been stimming on it like it's crack.
DeleteIs it so wrong to like i-Crack so much???
Ryan as a nanny = Happy mommy.
Good Lord - thanks for putting the ever dreaded spring break into my cranium this morning. Now, because I have like a month before ours, I could use the time to plan and develop creative strategies so I don't lose my mind.
ReplyDeleteOr, I could go on Facebook. So, you know...
YOUR WELCOME....
DeleteAnd Twitter and Pinterest. That should make spring break a little easier to digest. But if you go on Pinterest you have to help me, I'm the village idiot over there.
Just leave a trail of crackers leading to the kitchen. He'll find his way eventually, when he gets hungry.
ReplyDeleteHey, there's this new game I downloaded on my iphone, called Draw Something. It's sort of like pictionary. I will play with him since I'm hooked on it now. And I am a HORRIBLE artist, so it should consume a lot of his time trying to figure out what I drew. Let me know.
Oh, and perhaps husband should be made to suffer for this injustice??? Mac & cheese for dinner every night? Or something equally awful...chipped beef on toast? Just a thought.
Draw Something.....hummmmmm. More kid crack. I love me some good kid crack.
DeleteAnd I think I'm going to try your reverse psychology. I've been making all the food they like trying to get them (him) better. Clearly I've been doing it all wrong!
I'd make babies STAT if Ryan is coming over.
ReplyDeleteWhat is worse, spring break or a sick husband?
Boy that sounds like a toss up to me.
I'm sending cyber hugs....or is it drugs?....for your survival for the next 250 hrs.
(((Peg)))
Send links to some Free Apps. I'm using that i-touch/i-pad like kid crack. I'm behind the eight ball so I need to get some more so I can get something done around here.
DeleteThanks Peg, I heart you right back.
I had to go look up downward dog. Lots of interesting videos out there.
ReplyDeleteWhat?! You give Ryan to Alex to play Hanging with Friends?!? Look woman, we're gonna have to have a serious talk about your imagination...
ReplyDeleteSee, I need more sleep. If that man came around the house the LAST thing I'd be thinking of is SLEEP. I need more sleep.
DeleteApparently I live in a time warp because our spring break doesn't come until Easter. And I'm afraid to google downward dog. I'm not sure what that's all about, but I think we should blame your husband for that, too. Whatever it is.
ReplyDeleteLook on the bright side. If your kids would rather stay plugged in than eat, think of how clean your kitchen will be ALL WEEK!
I'm dreaming of a clean kitchen. I can't stand when it's dirty. Maybe RG can come over and clean the counter tops?
Deletehahaha. Well, Lily needs notice. Not that she plays on the itouch (zero fine motor skillz yo) but as long as we say. . . 5 more minutes then we turn off the iPad, she handles it pretty well. Plus also she has no concept of time, so thirty seconds later may as well be 5 minutes.
ReplyDeleteI wish. Alex has been telling time since he was about 4. It drove his preschool teacher INSANE as he was telling her how the class was always late or early or right on time. I bet she can still hear him, "MISS JONES WE ARE GOING TO BE 2 MINUTES LATE!!! AGGGGHHH"
DeleteI totally suck at words with friends or hanging with friends - but I'll gladly be friends with Ryan.
ReplyDeleteOut of all the Ryan posters, this is THE best.
ReplyDeleteMuwwwah!
DeleteIt was only when I became a parent, that I learned the truth about March break. It isn't for kids at all. It's for parents, because we're the ones in desperate need of a break.
ReplyDeleteSpring Break? Do not want.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
ReplyDeleteUse Spring Break to indulge in some iCrack yourself.
When I did the guest post for Love That Max and you commented, Ellen sent you a Mashable link that's a beginner's guide to Pinterest. Here it is in case you missed it:
http://mashable.com/2011/12/26/pinterest-beginners-guide/
Now, I expect you to have mastered Pinterest by the end of the Break. I will be checking to see if you have boards with pins.
If all else fails, get Alex to look at it and I bet he can show you how it works. Think of what great family time you'll have, gathered around your individual gadgets. :) Ah, memories....
I saw it and my brain popped right off my shoulders and right when I find my brain I go to Pinterest and then it pops right off again. I promise I will try again.....
DeleteI have a few weeks till ours starts...zombies in the garden doing the downward dog sounds kind of good....
ReplyDeleteOhhhh, I can't wait till I hear about your break. I know your kids will be up to just about as much as mine are...right now I think they are plotting how to get the baby to eat soap.
DeleteOh, boy! Good luck. Sounds so much like my house, though we're not on spring break. Thankfully, our town's spring break is just a 4-day weekend, which makes me weep with relief.
ReplyDeleteI AM JEALOUS.
DeleteI had to google the downward dog. Here it means they're about to dump in your garden. Hope you don't have that too, and I really hope that spring break flies for you xx
ReplyDeleteI wish that's what it meant here!
DeleteWe just finished Winter break! Can't even think about Spring Break!!
ReplyDeleteBut If I had Ryan around to help me... I guess it wouldn't be so bad...
Your post made me laugh out loud! I have a neighbor you can come over and downward dog with. Is there a yoga pose called ostitch in the sand? That'd what I would be thinking.
ReplyDeleteI am so going to get a pic of them one day. And even with my head in the ground all I'll see in my mind are their asses sky high....
DeleteYour post made me laugh out loud! I have a neighbor you can come over and downward dog with. Is there a yoga pose called ostitch in the sand? That'd what I would be thinking.
ReplyDeleteSpring Break? What's that? My son is a virtual school student--so basically every day is Spring Break. I think I'll have a martini to go with that downward dog. FML
ReplyDeleteMaybe that's what I need, a martini? Things sounds better all ready!!!
DeleteMaybe spring break means you get to spike your coffee and watch daytime tv!?
ReplyDeletehrm...
ReplyDeletetoo soon to tell how spring break will go over here, but I hope yours goes UP from whence it started.
That's so weird. That is EXACTLY how my kids react when I take away their electronics. Spring break is the WORST.
ReplyDeleteI think the Devil has a connection at our school system. It's the only thing I can think of.....
DeleteOh effing crap. I totally forgot about spring break. Full on panic attack at 12:30 at night. F. F. F.
ReplyDeleteHaha! I'm sorry.
DeleteRyan on Hanging and Friends? Sounds like a WINNER! Not a fan of unstructured time either! GREAT post!
ReplyDeleteOur spring break is coming and I'm dreading it!
ReplyDeleteMine wants my ipad all. day. long. I made the mistake of allowing that to happen one day when he was home sick. Now, he wants to stay home every day and just play it.
RUT-RO!!!
DeleteI just read this again cos I liked it so much the first time and I've stuck it in with the #specialsaturday posts, hope you don't mind xx
ReplyDeleteDon't mind at all---LOVE IT!!!
DeleteWe are in the midst of our Spring Break, too! Only it's raining buckets, so soccer was canceled. Stuck indoors with two hyperactive people! And no i-touches or i-pads in sight.
ReplyDeleteFeel better? Even a little? A smidgen?
Our spring break is in 2 weeks - is Ryan available then?
ReplyDeleteOh dear!!! Love the way he thinks though....Spring Break (or ANY break no doubt) means total iTouch time! My 12 yo is the same, TG no meltdowns over it at this stage.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had time to think about Spring and breaks. We did have 2 days off school in February so that was nice and short. We have easter break coming up soon. Two weeks of it! Lovely. can't wait!! :-P
xx Jazzy
Thank you! I teared up reading this from laughing. Angel's on break this week too. Daddy had the girls out for most of the day while I was working. I had half an hour left when she came home and hit me with the questions. I think she's going to be a detective one day!
ReplyDelete