Monday, November 5, 2012

I talk about my silence

I've been quiet for a reason.  We went on a little break for a reason.  I've thought long and hard about what I'm going to say.

Alex has turned nine.  He's getting older.  He's more aware of the situation around him and becoming aware of all things around him.  He knows I write about Autism and I write about him.

He has asked me to stop.

As his mom I have taken what he's said to heart.

When Alex was younger it was easier.  The lines were not as vague as they are now.  I was able to write about our lives and what happened.  He didn't express any issue with what I was doing and for the most part things were fine.  But as he's gotten older the lines have become blurred.  They're not as clear.  Time sneaks up on you and before you know it, you're looking at a child who is no longer a child.

Alex is very much like me--very private and happy with a few key people in his life.  I am afraid to say more about him, about how Autism impacts him, as he's very clearly expressed his reservations.

To continue in the fashion I have been would be wrong.  I don't want him thinking there is something wrong with him or that I need to talk on the Internet because of him.  I can see he is starting to think that, and as his mom, I have to change what I am doing.  I have to take care of him first.

I'd love to tell you how we were playing Four Square and I drilled him in the face with the ball because I got so fed up with being hit because he wasn't using all of his social skills.  I'd love to tell you more about that but I simply can't.

So I have to tell you in all honesty I'm not sure what I'm doing, what direction this will be going or even if this will continue.  I thought an explanation was due.

Thank you all for all of your kindness and support.  You have truly meant the world to me and there are simply no words to reflect my gratitude.

Hugs and love,

I will remain on Facebook and I will still have my email account, 

Once I figure things out, you'll be the first to know.