Alex has turned nine. He's getting older. He's more aware of the situation around him and becoming aware of all things around him. He knows I write about Autism and I write about him.
He has asked me to stop.
As his mom I have taken what he's said to heart.
When Alex was younger it was easier. The lines were not as vague as they are now. I was able to write about our lives and what happened. He didn't express any issue with what I was doing and for the most part things were fine. But as he's gotten older the lines have become blurred. They're not as clear. Time sneaks up on you and before you know it, you're looking at a child who is no longer a child.
Alex is very much like me--very private and happy with a few key people in his life. I am afraid to say more about him, about how Autism impacts him, as he's very clearly expressed his reservations.
To continue in the fashion I have been would be wrong. I don't want him thinking there is something wrong with him or that I need to talk on the Internet because of him. I can see he is starting to think that, and as his mom, I have to change what I am doing. I have to take care of him first.
I'd love to tell you how we were playing Four Square and I drilled him in the face with the ball because I got so fed up with being hit because he wasn't using all of his social skills. I'd love to tell you more about that but I simply can't.
So I have to tell you in all honesty I'm not sure what I'm doing, what direction this will be going or even if this will continue. I thought an explanation was due.
Thank you all for all of your kindness and support. You have truly meant the world to me and there are simply no words to reflect my gratitude.
Hugs and love,
Lizbeth
I will remain on Facebook and I will still have my email account, Lizbethcole29@yahoo.com.
Once I figure things out, you'll be the first to know.
Love it Lizbeth and totally understand!!! Liam often asks me if he makes my life hard..... We need to respect their wishes <3
ReplyDeleteI totally totally get this.
ReplyDeleteYou respecting his wishes mean so much to him (and it's huge, really, in the self-awareness realm, right?)
I applaud you for respecting his wishes. He's extremely mature to be aware of what's going on in the world.
ReplyDeleteEvery post you write shows what an incredible mother you are, without that ever being the intent. Xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI love you girl. You are such an incredible mommy!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, sea star.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad! I think you are a fantastic mom for respecting his wishes, but I'm sad that I won't get your take on things. It's been SO helpful to me.
ReplyDeleteI love you, lady.
Huge step for Alex. There is a whole bunch of amazing in his request and awareness. I will miss your perspective, but completely understand. I hope you can find the right way to evolve with your blog, because I love your writing...and I will miss you.
ReplyDeleteI have LOVED reading your blog. It is not often anymore that I discover a new blog that delights me like yours does. I will miss reading it. But I am also very proud of you for listening to your son. That takes a strong person. I'll miss you here.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. You need to do what is best for you and Alex, and I respect your decision. But there have been quite a few posts that you've shared where you barely mention your kids. You're a good writer, and this blog filled a need for you. Keep that in mind. I will miss you!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. It reminds me of some of the things I went through with my son, but you make it seem funny and easy (which it wasn't/isn't). I wish I had your perspective on things back then. It would have made things so less stressful! I totally understand though. That very same reason is why my blog isn't an Asperger blog, but a random blog for me, which includes Aspergers. I always get my son's approval before I post any pictures or posts about him. He's 20 and surprisingly doesn't care that I sometimes post about him. Guess he thinks nobody reads my blog anyway! :)
ReplyDeleteLizbeth, you will be much missed, but I'm *delighted* in your son's ability to express his needs, and even more proud of you for respecting him. You are amazing, and another way will open up for you to contribute your talents in a way that works for all of you. Much love.
ReplyDeleteLizbeth... you are one of the first autism moms I met out here on the interwebz... you have been there for me in so many ways. Now, I finally have a chance to be here for you.
ReplyDeleteWhat you are doing here shows me what an amazing parent you are. You listened to what Alex needed and you took action. You're giving up a part of yourself so that Alex can continue to grow into the incredible, strong, and smart man that we all know he is going to be. That is the DEFINITION of parenting.
I totally support you, Lizbeth and I hope you won't be a stranger to the rest of us who are going to keep blogging for now. Hugs.
You're listening... you're already moving in the right direction. I wish you well and will still look for your posts as always. I'm not blogging anymore either. Back to keeping words to myself.
ReplyDeleteLots of love and many hugs
<3
Does that mean you won't just write about everything else other than Alex? You will be soley missed my dear!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog, but I love that you love and respect your son more. Stay around and update us once in a while on the good things going on in life :)
ReplyDeleteTime to start on the younger ones. ALL kids do crazy stuff.
ReplyDeleteI have always been of the mind that you have to give respect to get it, and that includes children. I applaud your decision to put your sons feelings first even though I have always enjoyed what you have to say. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteWow...not quite sure what to say here?!? It's so great that Alex is able to express himself. It's so great that you are so intune with your kids. It's so great how supportive you are for your kids. Yet...I'm sad (and yes it is all about me *wink*) that the blogosphere will miss out on your insight, knowledge and humour. You are doing the right thing but you already know that. Take care and hope you will continue to blog about other "stuff" like ^^Mike^^ said. :D
ReplyDeleteI totally get it. It's something I think about preparing for. When Ellie was just tiny and first diagnosed, I told people. And I turned to my new internet peeps because I needed help and support. Now that my little nugget is finding her own voice, I don't want to speak for her.
ReplyDeleteI do know that, if it weren't for my fellow internet peeps like you, I would have spent the past few years drunk, in a bucket and humming tuneless songs. Whatever you choose to do, I'm certainly grateful our paths crossed.
You have been a great voice for so many and that wont go away because your blog will still remain... forever. You are a good mom- You listen to your kids needs. I am thankful that I got to meet and and that you have made me belly laugh soooo many times- thank you!!! call if you wanna talk!
ReplyDeleteHey Lizbeth, as you know I've had to do the same thing, stop writing about my boy. I didn't know what direction to go in either. Slowly but surely I'm finding my way, getting lost on occasion and having nothing to say! I find myself sharing somethings about him but only if they're positive or funny. No ASD stuff at all. I find I'm also going back to my 'roots' and blogging about 'random ruminations'! Don't take this the wrong way but we are about things other than Autism ;-)I hope you don't give up and that you find other stories to share with us in your fabulously witty and hilarious style AND that you find some way to share SOME stories of your children. As I've said before there are times when their stories are our stories too and we can share them from our perspective ;-)
ReplyDeletexxx Jazzy
Miss you already....
ReplyDeleteI understand your decision. I've now reached a point that I can't discss my son's ASD as much; I'm more careful of what I write about. I still write about what affects me which is usually about my continuing fight for my kids education and I still share the odd story about my kids but nothing too detailed or personal now unless thy are happy to share. I think your son is doing great to be able to express himself and I'm sure, like jazzy, you'll find a new blogging direction. Deb
ReplyDeleteI have just discovered you, and will miss you. But I totally get what you are saying. Maybe just turn this into the usual family blog?
ReplyDeleteI will miss your posts about Alex so much, but I do understand, and am slowly pulling away from writing about aspergers on my public blog too, though how I'm going to manage through the difficult times without on-line support, I just don't know. I hope you find a new direction for Four Sea Stars and keep posting xx
ReplyDeleteYou have given me so many gifts through every thing you have written. I thank you for all of it, especially the recent sharing of the presentation to the class on autism and the post about the tools Alex used to regulate himself through his IEP which inspired the IEP Meme. You are brilliant. Your son is beyond genius and I have been blessed with your ponderings, your rants, your reflection and all you have shared. Whatever you do, know I send my love to your whole family. You have given me laughs, tears and perspective. xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt's not too long ago that I found your group on facebook. Your honesty about living with an autistic child has saved my own sanity more than once. Your rants have also made me realise that I'm not on my own. Thank you so much, you have helped me far more than you may ever realise.I shall miss you, your friend in the UK...Hollie <3
ReplyDeleteI will miss you but I totally understand
ReplyDeleteI often wonder what will happen when mine get just a little older. I can remember as a kid, waking up on Saturday mornings to hear my mom gossiping with her best friend all about us kids. And it made me SO MAD. And that was just to one person- one person with a big mouth, sure, but nothing near putting it out there online. Wishing you lots of luck figuring this out- and then tell the rest of us how to handle it, please! :)
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. Maybe you could consider blogging about other things? You are a great writer and your posts always made me laugh. Whatever you do, I wish you well. :)
ReplyDeleteHope you will continue to blog, about other things. You're a great writer, I've always enjoyed your blog!!
ReplyDeleteI will miss your posts...I will miss your humor, very much...but..I understand your reasons and love it that your son has this awareness and understanding although...it brings other hardships as well..so perhaps you find something else to write about. You have often made me laugh...and with that feel better. Thank you.
ReplyDelete