Monday, March 18, 2013

What? You're not Irish?

I am Irish.  I'll wait till the severity of that sinks in.  

My dad came from Ireland and for my whole life, I've grown up around hot tea, wool sweaters and mashed potatoes with every single meal.  I've heard enough hornpipe and bagpipes to last a lifetime and I also know how to do a jig and a reel in my sleep.  If push comes to shove, I can slug out a steady stream of cuss words in full accent, always starting off with, "Bloody Hell..."  I do it much better, however, when I'm piss wasted, just saying. 
    
Anyway, my mom gears up for the Holy Day like no other.  Lizzy does Irish dance and she's been prostituted out like a French whore to every old folks home in Kansas City for the past two weeks.  She danced for miles and miles in parades and snow and she just keeps on going.     

I have danced my ass off.  

But what tops our St. Patrick's Day festivities is the clothes. Aside from walking around in green for the last two weeks, my mom tries to get anyone she can to dress in green with her.  Since the three year old is still young and vulnerable, and she doesn't run fast enough, she gets stuck wearing what Grandma puts her in.  And Grandam bought Gracie this cute little green shirt.  See that thing down there?  My mom kept telling me about the, "Adorable little shirt," she bought for her.  She failed to realize that all the white shamrocks, when put together, made a shape.  

A SKULL.  

My mom bought the girls skin-head tee shirts for St. Patrick's Day.

I have no earthly clue what she is doing.
Practicing to lead jets down the jetway, I guess.  

All they needed were a few tube socks full of rocks and they could go out and raise hell, in true Irish fashion, with their brother.

Only fitting I put Creeper heads on the girls.  Bonus points because they are green.  

And then I made this:

Anyone sends this to Cake Wrecks and
I'll find you and gut you.  Fair warning.  

An Irish Lamb Cake.

Normally in our house the Sacrificial Lamb Cake is reserved for Easter but I wanted to get an early start.  Nothing says, "Happy St. Patrick's Day!" like cutting into the green guts of a lamb.

And go read this right here, if you want to hear about our past Easter fun but I suggest you stop drinking your soda because we don't do holidays in the normal fashion around here.  You've been warned.

I already know, I totally fucked up the icing.  It got all droopy and was a bloody mess.  The kids thought it was hysterical, renamed it George, and instead of a lamb it was now a sheepdog.

Whatever.

And what did Alex do for St. Patrick's Day?  He played Minecraft, watched YouTube videos about Minecraft, downloaded mods for Minecraft, made Minecraft skin, new Minecraft worlds, found emeralds and redstone and generally talked my ear off about?  Minecraft.

I went with it.


29 comments:

  1. My wife had Irish blood in her too. But we don't celebrate St Patrick's day like you guys do. I do love the costumes that seem to be everywhere this time of year. And the best part about St Patrick's day is that spring is just around the corner.

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    1. I am soooo looking forward to Spring, right after this next snowstorm....

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  2. I think I love that t-shirt. Happy St. Patrick's Day of the Dead?
    ;)

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  3. Lizbeth - you have to be a professional baker for exposure on Cake Wrecks (one of my favourite sites). You go with your pre-Easter festive cuisine!!

    What county in Ireland does your dad call home? We have both Roscommon and Tyrone on my mother's side.

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  4. I'm a little Irish and a little bit of everything I think. My husband is very Irish. I affectionately call him my "piss drunk Irish boy". He doesn't like that! lol

    Skulls are hot right now!

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  5. I think your dad may have created a very interesting mix of oirishness and voodoo. Love the green guts lamb thing. Your Dad could be on to something XXX

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    1. I have no idea what I did this year. The kids had fun so I'm happy.

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  6. I...I don't know what to say about your irish lamb cake. It is...noteworthy!

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    1. It's a total piece of work, isn't it?

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  7. Sturla was more than intrigued by that creeper girl ...and the lamb cake again...I am intrigued.

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    1. And a little scared too, I bet. :)

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  8. So where is the video of you jiggin' away?

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    1. No video. I'll never show it. Ever.

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  9. St Patrick's Day was very similar here. Only with Terraria instead of Minecraft xx

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  10. Lizbeth... You are the best. After the crap-tastic week I had last week, you still managed to give me a smile. Thank you!

    P.S. Wanna have a bit more fun with the lamb cake at Easter? Before icing it, use a knife ans a plastic bag full of strawberry jelly to run a "juglar" right down from the top of the head through the neck. When you slice off the head, viola! Bleeding severed lamb head! (Come on, you know Jesus would love it ;-) )

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    1. Way ahead of you---we use a red velvet cake and cut it's head off. It looks like it's off the set of the Walking Dead.

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  11. Well, the dancing is super cool! And those curls and the dress are pretty awesome but what is that symbol thing on her dress? And there is nothing wrong with a little "skull decor" on a shirt - she's just a bad-ass 3 year old! True?

    The lamb?! OMG - you know how to make me feel so much better about my baking - remember my baking?! Love you for that one! As for Alex, he is enjoying himself so hey - it's all good. ;)

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    1. I remember your baking!!! Don't worry, I do what I can to keep other feeling good about themselves. xxoo

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  12. I am pretty sure that there are Irish Deth Metal bands out there, and those skull tees would fit in nicely!

    I think that your lamb cake is awesome, since I can't even go there. My lamb cake would look like it exploded, if I could even get to that point!

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    1. Thing is? Those shirts fit the girls perfectly. Gracie is a little terror on a good day so it's awesome!

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  13. I cannot stop laughing about the lamb cake. Love that you even tried. I'm too chicken to try..and my mother-in-law has a mold for one and everything. I love Karla's suggestion about the red jam. Love it.

    Sounds like a great St. Patty's Day was had by all. :)

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    1. Well, I figured if I start now I'll have at least one cake that will be good enough for Easter. I hope anyway.

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  14. I can't decide what I love more, the shirts or the cake! Fabulous.

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  15. Yes!!!! I always look forward to the annual lamb cake post. My year is now complete ;)

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  16. Yay! My long lost Irish cousin! You forgot the shamrock worked into the frothy top of a pint of Guinness ;-) Love your Irish dancing costume. I was a total heathen when it came to St Patrick's Day this year, even though I live in Dublin where the really cool parade takes place! I barely changed out of my PJs, though I did don a green top, and didn't leave the house. I did have a good excuse though, our after-show party was the night before!

    xx Jazzy

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Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.