Monday, April 25, 2011

This is how I do it. Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter.

Normally I like to mess with my mom, keep her on her toes, if you would.  I have a whole post dedicated to how I mess with her.  She drives me that crazy.  I'll share it someday, but not today.

My mom moved in with us about six months ago and we're still trying to work it all out, having her here.  Some days are more trying than others.  But overall its been a blessing. 

She's one of the few people who knows what its really like, Spectrum speaking.  She gets Alex.  She gets the fact that it not really cute to say "Duh" to your mom, dad, teacher, and anyone else who doesn't understand the mechanical workings of a fountain.  She understands him.  Knows when he's just being a little shit, trying to push buttons because he's bored, and when he's truly maxed out and needs a gentle hand to lead him upstairs to listen to his music and calm down.

People ask me how I manage to do everything with all three kids.  She's your answer.  I couldn't take him to all his appointments, therapies and groups with the other two in tow.  Sure, I could, but she makes it possible so I don't have to. 

She takes the girls and goes to the carousel and the mall.  Something Alex would never dream of doing or want to do anyway.  She cleans out the garden beds, does laundry and changes the kids bed sheets when I run out of time.  She has a special relationship with each one of the kids and loves them with as much ferocity as I do.  

She gives me a much needed moment to catch my breath and slip out for a run so I can come back and be a better mom.  She gives me the time to deal with school and his teachers and she affords me the ability to stalk my son in the school parking lot so I can watch recess. 

She can cook but we prefer she doesn't.  She knows this and we laugh.  She makes spaghetti from a can, she'll burn anything she comes in contact with and Alex has better skills with knife than she does.  Cooking is not her strong point.  Seriously, you can only do boiled salmon patties once in your life.


I am telling you all of this because she needs her breaks too.  She has other grandchildren.  I am the middle of five kids.  So right now she's in Boston with my brother and his kids.  In May she'll visit my sister in Australia for a month.

So that's how I do it.  I don't do it alone.  I have a mom who's with me, in the background, doing everything else that I can't manage to do.  And for the next few weeks the kids and I are going to get a cold hard slap in the face. 

I just hope it's not with a boiled salmon patty.

21 comments:

  1. That's great that you have your mom to help you out. She sounds like an amazing person.

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  2. That is so great that you guys work so well together! I had my mom stay with us for two weeks after she had surgery and I thought I was going to scream! She's wonderful and helpful and LOVES my kids, but she also picks everything I do apart. Really, it's my own fault for not saying things to her. If I told her to back off, she totally would. So, obviously I need to change.

    Still, good for you both that you are there for each other!

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  3. The beach takes my breath away and as much as I love my mom and her cooking and general helpfulness, I think it would be hard to adjust to having mom around all the time. :)

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  4. She sounds awesome. I would say that out of everyone my mom is the one who understands our reality the best too.

    I hope it goes well for you all while she's away.

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  5. WOnderful
    I bet its great for the both of you

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  6. can't wait to get her for a bit. I know you'll be great, and a month is a long time. Maybe B will send her home with some new cooking skills, like fairy bread or something! LOL

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  7. That is fabulous that you have the support of your mum at home...and that you all get a break from each other too. That's important! I only have one child but we had no family support at all in the last 11 years. Not because they weren't interested but hubby's mum passed away and mine is in a nursing home the last 6 years. It is good that you have help. But I'm sure there can be difficulties too :-)

    xx Jazzy

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  8. And here I thought you were doing it all alone!! What a wonderful mom you have. Very beautiful relationship and you so deserve to have it that way. You'll do fine on your own though. You are amazing! :)

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  9. This was such a beautiful post! It's definately nice to have a supportive parent helping you out. I wish my parents lived closer.

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  10. I think grandmas like to get into the inner workings of the brain. Not so that they can learn, but so that they can go in public and get the kids to give them attention so the other grandparents can see how popular they are. Kinda like high school for senior citizens.

    But it's good to have help. Christy's mom does a lot of helping.

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  11. @Lady Mama--thanks!

    @Patty O.--We have our moments, like right now she's driving me nuts...I usually tell her since I'll flip a switch if I don't.

    @Rebecca--it's been rough but I think we've finally gotten to a happy medium, if that makes any sense!

    @Christy--thanks!

    @K-floortime lite mama--thanks!

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  12. @Christine--thanks, where have you been? I miss your blog.

    @Jazzygal--I know where you're coming from. When we were in ND for 10 years we had no support with the kids. All our family was out of state so its just now we have the help and it's mostly my mom. It's both a blessing and a curse, I think...

    @Karen V.--thanks, you're a sweetheart.

    @WhisperingWriter--thanks, I'm hapy with my mom. I think any more realtives and I'd have to hurt one of them, if you know what I mean...

    @Brain--I know, you should see her when she takes the girls to the park--she puffs up like a turkey, she's so proud...not pretty but I'll take it.

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  13. Wow, you have a great mom! My mother-in-law moved in with us "just until she got back on her feet" and it was two years before we got her to move back to her OWN perfectly good house. If she had been helpful it probably wouldn't have been so bad, but she was more work than my son! It is nice to have someone there that you can count on for support. She'll be back before you know it!

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  14. How wonderful that you have such a good-humored and loving relationship with your mom, and that she "gets" Alex. What more could you want? (Yeah, I know, I could think of other things. But still!)

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  15. Your mom sounds terrific, and good for you for writing this tribute to her! You may be lucky to have her, but she's lucky you are acknowledging her place in your life.
    I loved this post!

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  16. That's awesome Lizbeth! Just wondering though.....will she read this? Lol

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  17. You're a lucky girl!! It's nice that you have such a good relationship, and she really understands the kids. My MIL stayed with us for 3 months a year ago, and I wanted to kill myself. After she comes back from her visits, she will probably get a very big welcome back from you all!

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  18. My in-laws are with me right now and have been here for 4 of the last 7 weeks. They are completely worthless as far as helping me with Audrey. But they do cook and do other things. I still can't wait for them to leave. Cheers to your mom!

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  19. That's a lovely tribute to your Mum, long may she be a help :) I lost my Mum 4 years ago and my ex-MIL no longer helps. I would love that kind of help, but would find it difficult to make the compromises that you have to do when you have someone else living in the house...would it be worth it so I could go running? Perhaps...

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  20. @Not Just Another Mother Blogger--yeah, notice how I didn't talk about my MIL....LOL

    @Rachel--I'd like to eat Dairy Queen every day and not see the results on my hips, thighs....

    @Sandra--thanks!

    @Wonderfullywired--NO she won't be reading it...I don't let her in on this part of my life...a little too intrusive (for me) I think.

    @Flannery--I promised my hub I wouldn't talk about my MIL...perhaps a visit to the Dive bar is order...

    @Lynn--I'm sorry. See what I said to Flannery. I can say no more. Damn!

    @Looking for Blue Sky--I'm so sorry. It's been a long road and sometimes I find myself asking those questions...is it worth it?? Some days yes and others a resounding No. For better or worse I'm stuck with her...

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  21. Your mum sounds wonderful! :)

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