Wednesday, April 13, 2011

A whole lotta love at Speech Therapy

I got called on the carpet by my kid's Speech Therapist today.  We were supposed to do some homework and I forgot.  For two weeks in a row.  So this time she told me that in order for us to succeed we needed to be on the same page.  


Now that I got that out of my system, I get it.  Really I do.  I know I'm an integral part of this whole gig.  She actually gave us a little booklet at our first meeting and it says: YOU.  It is up to YOU to implement your child's Speech Therapy services."

No, we didn't get a booklet, I just made that up.  But it felt like we should have gotten one as she seemed to be quoting some Holy Grail of Speech Therapy that I was missing.

We were supposed to be working on his R's.  He says them incorrectly and you can't understand him.  I get that.  Thing is, he wasn't associating the exercises with articulating the appropriate sound and he was getting frustrated and embarrassed.  I put a limit on what we were doing at home since it was turning into a negative association. 

And the other things, yeah, I dropped the ball.  The two girls have been sick as dogs, producing more mucous than I ever dreamed possible.  I've been relegated to mopping up puke for the past week, doling out Tylenol and Ibuprofen like a Pez dispenser and running to the Pediatrician's office since the sweet little shit of a baby seems to think it's much more interesting to fight like a feral cat and see mommy wipe up antibiotic off the ceiling, walls, microwave and any other inanimate object within a ten foot range.  And since she's got more fight in her than Rocky Balboa she crossed the line and puked all over the other half of the kitchen.  Again.

I even have puke buckets in the car.  Yeah, it's that bad. 

So NO I've not yet used our conversation starter at the dinner table asking who did what, when and why.  Been a little busy.

And NO I've not used our Emotions and Facial Expressions Chart.  I think its still in the car from last week under a puke bucket.  If I did you can bet I'd have had a witty comeback like:

I'm a little irritated at what's going on at my house right now.  I'm terrified of getting dinner launched at me.  Pick an orifice.  I'm enraged and disgusted with the prospect of cleaning up more puke.  I'm exhausted, nauseated and sick to death of hearing my own children whine and beg.  And if I hear that God forsaken Lelli Kelly shoe commercial one more time I'm beyond confident I'm going to burst a vessel. 

But I am ecstatic that you are concerned with our progress and amused by your disapproving and indifferent attitude and I'm optimistic that smug grin has been wiped off your sorry little face.

But alas I had no witty comeback except for BITE ME and even that was only in my head.  That should count for something, right?  Right??  


  1. Sending you a GIANT hug
    how I HATE the judgy type therapists
    When we have a choice - we just work with those types any more
    Life is hard enough as it is and somedays ( and some weeks ) just getting by is success

  2. Even though I want to help my son learn these emotions and beyond with the whole mask thing - I know how life gets in the way of our intentions. I, for one, am glad that you prioritize cleaning puke above going over a cartoon chart of facial expressions!

    Sometimes, I feel that we parents get blamed because the therapists are frustrated with set backs and lack of progress. Rather than working the best they can on their end and zipping it on ours- they are quick to blame us to make themselves feel better. :(

    Hope the worst of the running noses and vomiting is over!! Maybe you could turn the chart back in with just a "little" bit of vomit on it... ;)

  3. I see you've had a difficult week Lizbeth and I don't mean to laugh... but this is hilarious! It's ok though 'cos you've already had your revenge on me.... you've got me singing that damn lelli kelly song!

    Seriously though, I do hope everyone feeling better in your house this week.

    xx Jazzy

  4. @Kflm--thanks, yeah she did an eye roll and now I'm looking for a different threapist. I'll be happy when their fever's break.

    @Karen V.--I did better and showed up with snot an everything else all over my shirt. She should be good and sick by now! Thanks---she is a little miffed that A. can't hear the misartics. and is blaming it on lack of practice. I'm pretty much done with her.

    @Jazzygal--LOL you have to do so much more that that to get me worked up. :) My sense of humor is so dry most of this was meant to be funny and not all pissy...and that lelli kelly song is horrible, isn't it?? I think I'm going tohave to cave and get her some. Damn lelli kelly!!!

  5. A good therapist will understand that good communication is the key component and if you are having problems making the carry-over stuff be a positive learning experience then SHE needs to help you figure out something different to do. She's the professional in the scenario.

    My son has been in speech therapy for almost 3 years now and he is FINALLY making great strides because his therapist is amazing and gives us activities to do and tells me what to look for every week (sometimes daily). We even recently went on a speech at home break because of all that was going on at home and she said that she understood and knows that as soon as things calm down we will be back on track and making progress again.

    Just hang in there.

  6. I'm agree with Jazzygirl. This really is a funny post- especially the emotions words. But I'm sorry you're all having such a bad week. Some of these people just don't get that when you have more than one kid you don't get to be your ASD child's 24-7 therapist/servant. Actually, I'm pretty sure that people who have only one kid don't get to do that either. Good call on finding a new therapist. Hope the kids get better fast.

  7. "Bite Me" is always a viable and efficient comeback.

    Griffin has been on a speech therapy hiatus for about a year. So no homework for us. Today he was telling me a story about one of the teachers in his school named, as best I can decipher, "Mr. Feces."

    Looks like we'll be heading back to Ms. Lisa in May.

  8. @Rebecca--thanks, that means a lot. And I totally want to steal your thereapist. ;)

    @Christy--thanks, I wish I could find a servant.....

    @BD--Mr. Feces?!? I got nothing. Nothin, I tell you...

  9. I love saying bite me.

    I'm sorry about the therapist. Blah.

  10. Yeah I'm with the others. Bite Me!
    Love this post.

  11. Oh boy... that sounds rough. I am so glad I just have one child now. Hope everyone gets better soon. My Aspie does speech therapy at his school and his is to get him to speak when he shuts down.

  12. OK, you said BITE ME, not once but twice, AND you paid homage to Rocky Balboa, all in the same post. This is brilliant writing, absolutely brilliant!

    I forgot to do my son's OT homework last week, and my excuse was not nearly as good as yours. Those darn therapists are sooo testy over the whole homework thing. Sheesh.

  13. It totally counts, Lizbeth.
    I haven't yet run into a therapist that was too much like that, and I hope I don't either.

    May all of your buckets remain empty!

  14. AND your whole house almost got blown away. You forgot that. Geez. You might want to put one of those puke buckets right over her head!

  15. Thanks guys, the kids are still sick and sticking them in front of the TV so I can "work." Hehe!!!

  16. Many of the therapists I have dealt with, while wonderful usually, had not yet had kids and really had no idea how life gets in the way of therapy programmes. The snotfest does not sound pleasant, really hoping it's over now. But you've really lost me with the BITE ME thing? It's not a Narnia reference?

  17. It takes talent to make situations that are "crap" into good pieces of writing. Thanks for making me laugh :)

    I have NO IDEA what Lelli Kelly shoes are. Care to enlighten me?

  18. @DeeAnn--thanks, you're such a sweetie! Lelli Kelly shoes--it's not really the shoes but their marketing--they have this horribly catchy song. They run commercials literally every 5 minutes on Disney and Nick and drill it into the kids heads....they cost about $70/pair (Iknow, its criminal), my daughter is not getting a pair!! They're awful!!!

    @Looking for Blue Sky--I don't know where I picked up the phrase "Bite Me." Not a Narnia reference, I wish!

  19. Don't you just want to smack them sometimes? I swear if they had any kind of clue what life can be like for us, I think they wouldn't be so smug. I have been so overwhelmed with all the "homework" the therapists have been throwing at us. There's the reading and math, occupational therapy exercises, speech therapy exercises and the feeding homework. I finally had to take a break from the feeding specialist because I couldn't handle it all. And that doesn't even include all the social skills crap we're trying to work on. Sheesh.

  20. "Bite me" is perfection in the simplicity of feeling it presents.

    So you missed a couple of weeks and you'll do it when you can breathe without smelling puke. That sounds like a good plan!

  21. Oh wow, that's a lot of puke... Buckets in the car, huh?? You poor, poor thing. If there's one thing that really gets to me it's the smell of puke. And a-hole therapists.

    I like "bite me", short and to the point.


Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.