Friday, September 14, 2012

I'll make this easy. A crinoid is a fossil.


I'm always amazed at what comes home from school in my children's pockets, always amazed.  The kids have been back in school for a bit and I noticed something shake out of Alex's pocket when I was doing laundry. 

I should say, after I sent them through the washer and dryer.  When I went to pull out the lint trap, all the things fell down between the walls of the dryer.  With a hangar in one hand, and the vacuum attachment thing in the other, I started to fish the things out. 

Alex came up and started talking to my ass.  

"Mom, hey mom!  Have you seen my Crioids?  I brought three home from school.  I put them in my pants pocket on Friday and now I can't find them."

Why yes, they are 1/100th the size of a dime.  

"Ok, well hon, mommy's a little busy here.  Can you use your eyes and see what I'm doing?  Maybe we can talk in a few minutes?"  

You know, when you're not talking to my ass.  

"Alex hon, these things fell down into the dryer and I'm trying to fish them out.  Wait.  What did you call those things again?"  At this point, I was stuffed all the way in the dryer and it dawned on me that whatever he wanted, that's what was lodged between the walls of the dryer.  

"OK mom, talk later....but mom you have to clean the dryer vent every three months so you might as well do that now.  Did you know if you don't clean it, you'll have a greater risk of fire in your laundry tubing?  You should really clean that thing out while you're here.  You're doing a good job cleaning mom." 

All I could think of was, awesome social skills telling my ass I was doing a good job cleaning.  Sure he was talking directly to my rear end but whatever, he gave me a compliment.  

Anyway, something must have clicked in Alex's brain that I was fishing out his crinoids because all of a sudden my ass was getting yelled at.

"Oh My Gosh mom!!  You lost my crinoid in the washer!  Wait, no!!!  You lost it in the dryer...is that what you're getting out of the dryer?!?  Dear Lord in Heaven, you can't use the vacuum!  Aggghhh!!!  NOT THE VACUUM.   YOU MUST NOT SUCK UP MY CRINOIDS!!!!"

That was followed up by all sorts of gargling noises from Alex and me cussing after banging my head getting out of the dryer.  I finally got him calmed down over the vacuum, letting him know whatever we suck out of the dryer will be splayed out like an anatomy cat so we could collect his crinoids.  

The fear of the vacuum in our house is legendary.  LEGENDARY.  All I can say is vacuum plus Lego equal scarring traumatic life event.   

Anyway, we found one crinoid.  ONE.  He had three.  The other two were stuck in the walls of the dryer.  And news flash, that's where they're going to stay.

I found out while he's at recess, he likes to dig for fossils.  In the midst of all the kids running and playing, he digs.  There are a few other children that dig with him but for the most part he digs quietly by himself.  

A severe drought makes for one hell of a crinoid dig. 

And that's exactly why every night after school, for the past two weeks, we've been doing our own fossil dig.  We're looking for crinoids.  After the school settles down and all the kids go home, we slip back to the back corner of the playground and we dig.  

Silently.  Peacefully.  Next to each other.  Digging.  Every once in a while we shout, "Hey I got one!"  We share a quick smile and we slip right back into quiet.   

Our quiet.    



40 comments:

  1. What kind of a fossil is a crinoid?
    I have a son who would love to dig with you.

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    1. I think it's part of the plant stem...I'd have to go ask Alex or his teacher to be sure. I'd love to have him dig with us. xxoo

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  2. Funny and beautiful! Love the ending. This SO resonates with me. My boy collects stones etc also...I have 3 lumps of glittery 'stones' that are actually lumps of coal! And am not allowed throw them out. He too talks to my ass and has no awareness whatsoever that I'M BUSY AT THE MOMENT!

    Just so you know, I was initially denied access to your blog by Norton. They told me yours was a 'malicious site.' Don't worry, I told Norton it was only another mad post from Lizbeth...and here I am!!

    xx Jazzy

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    1. Tee-hee!!! That's funny, Alex just assumes if I'm in earshot it's free game and he starts talking. We're still working on that.....and tell Norton to bugger off! No, seriously--I did do a virus check to see if anything was clinging on and found nothing...but always good to know.

      Love ya!!!

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  3. Thank you for telling me what the hell a crinoid is!
    I'd be stupid mommy I fear. :-(

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    1. Peg, I had to have asked at least 5 times what they were. I finally stuck with the word: fossil.

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  4. Lizbeth, if only your ass talk back, hu?! This someone unrelated...you still have crabs? Cause it looks like we're getting snails this weekend and I wanted to know if you'd care to run away from home with me and move into a bar.

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    1. This someone unrelated should read...this is somewhat. I have a head full of snot. That's my excuse.

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    2. We totally have crabs. Four. Four little tarantulas in shells. I would pay money, big money, to get rid of them....

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  5. The wonderful things you learn. Does he know what lichen is? I only ask this because I remember a little four year old telling us all about it and I was gobsmacked that one so young was so knowledgeable. Great post, I really enjoyed reading it. x

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    1. Thanks and I bet he knows. I'm not going to ask for fear of getting the lecture. :)

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  6. Of course! He's a sheller! And so he found a way for the both of you to shell in Kansas. I love Alex! Hey and did you see that it is an echinoderm? It's like finding fossil sand dollars or starfish. Cool

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    1. I know, right?!? I was totally thinking of you when we were out there.

      xxoo

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  7. Aw, sweet story.

    Maybe you can make a shadow box to display all the tiny crinoids? Yeah, good luck with that.

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    1. I need some help. You coming up to help out? Don't forget to bring that super strong craft glue and some tweezers.

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  8. As I sit at my desk laughing my ass off, I would like to thank you for giving me another word I can use in my words with friends battle.

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    1. I'm good for that. I think I wrote a post on that....I had to stop playing when I gave Alex the word, "WANKER"

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  9. I love that you can just dig for fossils after school. That sounds so nice.

    Sometimes we collect acorns after school, quietly and far away from all the other kids playing on the playground.

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    1. That sounds nice. And much less detrimental to the fingernails. :)

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  10. You know how sweet this story is, ass-talking and all! I love that the two of you are digging side by side. Ahh, always underlying the social skills, the differences, the panic with a vacuum, is the love of a mom and her little boy. Awesome. :)

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  11. If he runs out of fossils I can send you some colonial coral.

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  12. I love this. We dig for worms here...lots of them. And Tate talks to my ass as I dig. Fun stuff. I will admit, though, that I cherish my time with my little man..as I am sure you do, too.

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  13. Such a sweet story! I'm still not exactly sure what a crinoid it so I'm going to have to google it now. If they are as tiny as the picture, how do you see them in the dirt?? I would never be able to find one.

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    1. Lets just say my ass is up in the air when we are digging
      as well......

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  14. Next best thing to shelling! Miss ya shellin sistah!

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  15. You are so damn cool!!! I could just eat that boy alive. I know you don't show hem much on your blog and I totally get that. But the glimpse I've seen of him. Girl. He is adorable!!!

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    1. I'll send you a PM on Facebook. Look me up and I'll send you a full frontal. That sounds weird. I'm going with it.

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  16. I hope your ass has recovered from the firm talking to it got...you were one gas bubble away from even more trouble I am thinking.

    I love that you are sharing moments and smiles digging together.

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    1. Bwahhhh!!! I will neither admit or deny there were any gas bubbles in our vicinity.....

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  17. This is such a cool story!! But Alex has made me really paranoid now, I'm living in a new place with a new dryer and I don't know how to clean the filter out - I definitely don't want any fires starting!! That was so funny though, the whole crinoid convo! **giggles** And a really cute ending too. Hooray for droughts and fossil digging!

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    1. I'm so glad things are settling down for you. Love and hugs.

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  18. We have a Dyson just to avoid those traumatic Lego vacuum events. Although I admit that occasionally I get a little vicarious thrill hearing those tiny plastic items getting sucked up and off my floor. I have to get them back out, but it is still a thrill.

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    1. We have a central vac but last I checked a spider was living in the canister. I use our Dyson and LOVE IT. Just dumped everything on a paper bag in the garage. That thing would suck up my.....well lets just say that thing doesn't miss much....

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  19. I've never heard of crinoids, but I'd love to dig for them with my son too!

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