Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A meme. Be afraid, very afraid.

I was going to write some more about our wonderful adventures in Spring Break Land but like many places you go, it's over rated.  Quite frankly, without my kids in a Tae Kwon Do camp this week I just may have thrown myself out an upper window by now.  I think I've discussed this before and while jumping out the window may impart some bodily harm, it wouldn't be enough for me to get out of making dinner.  The cost benefit analysis deems it necessary I stay within the confines of my house.  Dammit.

My good friend Kelly over at Unplanned Trip to Holland tagged me in a Meme.  I'm never quite sure how to feel about these things.  I love to read other's view on Meme's but truth be told, these things are a lot of work with all the tagging and linking but I love them just the same.  Yes, I am that lazy.  



In short order, here are the rules of the game:
  1. Thank and link back to the person who bestowed the award on you.  Check.  Kelly, Kelly, Kelly..click here to find Kelly.
  2. Post 10 things about yourself that others may or may not know. 
  3. Nail 6 others with this award. 
  4. Go find those 6 others and let them know you've given them the computer equivalent of Type A influenza.   
Now before y'all go running down to the bottom of the page I'll start with the ten things you may or may not know about me.  THEN, you can all go run down to the bottom of the page.

Aw, fuck it.  

Here are my people I'm tagging.  Who am I kidding?  We all want to know who I'm going to crucify and hang out to dry.  In no particular order, except for Flannery, here you go.  
  1. Flannery over at Living on the Spectrum: The Connor Chronicles.
  2. Peg at Straight up-No Chaser.  
  3. Allie from Little Baby Fields.
  4. Karen at Ow, my angst
  5. Andrea over at Maybe it's just me...
  6. Insert your name here if you think the Meme's got your name on it.  

Flannery always gets nailed when I do a meme.  One day she's going to come up to Kansas City and kick my ass, like seriously, the way they do in Fight Club.  She's going to beat me to a pulp and turn me into soap.  When the blog goes silent, you'll know that's happened but until then I will tag her.  Relentlessly.  I call it tradition.  She calls it a, "horrendous pain in her ass, a boil that needs to be lanced, a...."   

Now on to the ten things you may or may not know about me.  
  1. I detest when other people in my family are sick.  I can't stand to hear them cough, sick-up or act like they are dying.  The fact that He Who Shall Not Be Named is still sick and carrying on like a wounded dove is driving me right over the edge.  To say, "Every time he coughs, a little piece of me dies inside, " is not stretching the truth.  Hurry the hell up and get better already or die.  I don't care which but just turn the corner one way or the other.        
  2. I'm Type A all the way.  I can't stand to have a messy, dirty floors.  When I first saw Sleeping With the Enemy I was all, "Ohhhh, look now nice and clean their house is!  Look at how he lines up all the canned goods and see, who doesn't like their bathroom towels all neat and orderly?"  Sure, he was certifiably insane but I'd place money you could eat off those floors.  He'd beat you for it later, of course, but you'd have a full belly.    
  3. Tamiflu made me sicker than a dog.  To the point that I had to preform several complete colon cleanses.  One of them was at my son's allergy appointment.  Since I had to drag him into the bathroom with me, he almost got sick because I was sick and I had horrible visions of him puking between my legs while I was on the toilet.  Think that sounds disgusting?  Try living it.     
  4. I pretend not to be a bitch but I really am.  I judge people and I like to make fun of my neighbors.  I try not to but seriously, how long is that tree going to stay dead in your yard?  Its been there for two years and let me tell you a little known fact about trees---they stay dead.  Cut the damn thing down already.   
  5. I am hypoglycemic as hell right now so I have to stop and come back before I pass out from low blood sugar.  Yeah, I know it's from eating cake and coffee this morning but when presented with the option of a piece of cake or a fruit salad, the cake wins every single time.  
  6. I'm sick of my stats and really need to stop looking at them but it's like crack.  I have to go back and look.  I try to stop but I just can't.  And don't get me started on the 'Join this site' and 'Members' and all of that.  I don't know who I'm following and who's following me and what the proper etiquette is anymore.  I mean, what if you follow them and they don't follow you back?  That means they think you suck, right?  Do you then go back and un-follow?  I mean, that's a little rude don't you think?  And then if you subscribe to an e-mail feed with someone on WordPress should they follow you on Blogger?  Seriously, somebody help me with this one.  
  7. I'm using an old razor right now and the only time I remember to replace it is when I'm buck-naked in the shower.  I'm too lazy to get out of the shower to replace it so I've been butchering my legs for over a week now.  
  8. I love to bake but the thought of making dinner every night makes me weak at the knees because, you know, we all eat one well-rounded meal full of fresh produce and lovely vegetables.  And if you can't read the sarcasm in that, then I just can't help you.  
  9. Everything I wrote in that first paragraph is a lie.  I'm secretly enjoying everything about Spring Break.  Except Daylight Savings.  I want to punch that ass-hat in the nuts.  
  10. I wish I didn't have to fake-name it here and it bugs me more than you will ever know.  
I'm sure I could do more than ten things but I think that's sufficient to have your hand over your mouth in horror so I'll stop there.  

Now I'm off like a virus to go infect some more people....

24 comments:

  1. Wow, Lady... you get mean when you're hypoglycemic! Any happy things we didn't know about you? ;-)

    Now, I'm off to suck down a Ho-Ho and wake up the Little Miss.... because cake SHOULD always win for breakfast!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ho-ho's are next to God in the morning. That and cheesecake.

      Delete
  2. Your 10 things make you my hero. That is all.

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  3. Great. Your #4 would have been one of mine, so now I need a replacement. I mean, I can't also write that I'm a total bitch. That would be redundant.

    I'm just glad that you continue shaving your legs, no matter what it is you're using. I'd be more worried if you just gave up completely. Not that I've done that.

    I have responded, in kind, to your invitation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Shit.

      Is that your car I hear?? Oh Shit...can you at least turn me into lavender soap???

      Delete
  4. I'm smiling more than Smiley right now :) Surely the pizza is full of home-made veg or something like that? And please don't come and visit too soon as I think I *may* have a rather dead tree in my yard...

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    Replies
    1. You're not my neighbor are you? And no, I would never make fun of you!!!

      Delete
  5. I can't believe you tagged Flan. I never saw that one coming.

    Have you been red flagged from the allergist's office? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dude, I'm red flagged everywhere. Everywhere.

      Delete
  6. Well, if it makes you feel any better, you'd have had a hypoglycemic attack if you'd had coffee and fruit salad too, instead of coffee and cake. So, you WIN, because you chose the RIGHT THING.

    Okay, I will get to the meme! Luckily I have been tagged at a few other places, and they always follow the same pattern, so I can redeem myself in one fell swoop! BOO YAH! REDEMPTION!

    My march break is biting big dicks right now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is nothing like combining a bunch of awards into one. That's awesome.

      And I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering through this!

      Delete
  7. I'm embarassed to say it, but I still don't know what a meme is. I'm still in the stone age here. I don't have a cell phone or a facebook account. I'm glad it's the March break though, I'll likely need a couple days to learn what a meme is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jim, the only reason I don't appear as an idiot to the rest of the world is because of google! I googled it! Google it! Google EVERYTHING!

      Delete
  8. love your list
    I am also going to do a Kreativ Blogger for the lovely Marsupial Mama

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  9. Well at least now I know why I have been coughing today! Thank you! ;)

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  10. Love it. Number 8 is me too. I'm off to google Ho-ho and to read Flannery's blog. We don't get spring brak over here but we do get 2 weeks of Easter in 2 and a half weeks time... boy am looking forward to that one.

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    Replies
    1. I'm guessing you're on a countdown...gawd, I'm glad ours is almost over.

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  11. So are you saying baked goods are not ok for supper every night??

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    Replies
    1. I never said that!!! I whole-heartedly endorse carbs at any meal. The sugary the better.....

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  12. Fake names? You should get those groucho glasses and take a picture with those on!

    Yeah, I'm hopped up on chocolate right now.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lizbeth, I think one of things I like most about you is that in 89% of your posts there is vomit or diarrhea. Don't get me wrong, I'm not glad that these things happen to you on an irregular (get it...irregular) basis, it's just that I seem to relate better to those who talk freely about it. This might be why my husband prefers not to invite me to work functions.

    Our spring break is next week and I can only hope our digestive tracts have the fortitude to handle it without blowing.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Once again, you make me laugh. I particularly like #4 and #7, since I also make fun (and even nickname) my neighbors and I can't tell you how many times I shave with an old razor because I'm too forgetful to put a new one in the shower.

    ReplyDelete

Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.