Friday, June 17, 2011

Vacation one, Lizbeth zero.

This is the fish tank where I got yelled at for pulling a sea star out of the holding tank for less than 0.0034 seconds and where everyone within earshot was told by Alex, "This was not my activity of choice.  I have no interest in sea life and I would be much happier with my I-touch but ohhhh nooooo, mom says it has to say at the condo."


This is the boat we went on where I lost Lizzy, Gracie threw her bottle out and screamed her head off for the duration and where Alex got a brain contusion from hitting the boat decking as the captain ran into the pier.  Read all about it here.

OK, there would be a picture of a boat here but this piece of shit computer I'm working on is a little mother and won't let me add a picture without first rotating it and then adding it sideways.

That and it's so God dammed slow I can't even get to a single one of your blogs without crashing the whole system.  I think I take out power to half this island when I try to comment.

And I have an I pad but that's not really an accurate statement.  I can see our I pad but can't use it.  I may be able to wrestle it out of my son's hands for twenty seconds only to have to barter later usage. 

Scratch that.  I figured things out.

Anyway, more pictures...


This is one of the sand castles Alex made and has announced to the free world and anyone who has the misfortune to walk by that, "This is my sandcastle and I would appreciate it if you would walk around.  Thank you.  Oh yeah, I'm not enjoying this activity at all.  I would like to be playing with my I-touch but my mom says it has to stay in the condo."

Since we're outside he's saying all of this in his Loudest Outside Voice Ever.  Technically I can not correct him since we are indeed outside. He has reminded me of this fact.

Repeatedly.


And this is a picture of our walk to the beach.  All you have to do is add three children, all screaming different things, getting chased by wasps and all sorts of big flying bugs, pushing and shoving to get to the water then the picture is complete.  Thank you condo association for putting flowering plants along every walkway.  By the end of the boardwalk I've been given all the beach toys, towels, sunscreen and drinks so I look like a camel on a desert trek.  

I've taken to stashing a bottle of alcohol in a beach towel.  It is my goal to have one bottle finished per day by the end of our trip.

Yes, you may judge me.  

And that is all I have for today.


Note: I have been desperately trying to get to your blogs but this system here is nothing but smoke and  mirrors with the ability to crash at a moments notice.   I may resort to posting some old crappy posts I've had hibernating till we get back as I've spent more time trying to keep this system running and my kids from getting electrocuted from the mess of wires under the writing desk....  

21 comments:

  1. aww poor you! Sometimes holidays are more hassle than they are worth! You did make me laugh though :)

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  2. I agree. Sometimes vacations are more of a hassel than they are worth. Home might be a welcome vacation from vacation!

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  3. "This was not my activity of choice." I'm stealing that line- I need some more coping techniques of my own. Or maybe I should just resort to the alcohol in the beach towel trick. That sounds a lot more fun.

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  4. Well, if Alex is using his "outside voice" outside AND asking people nicely to walk around his sandcastle, I'd say you've got a couple of things to be happy about. :)

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  5. Next time leave the condo kid with my husband and kids and bring me along. I would totally LOVE all that I've read thus far! Gorgeous photos!

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  6. Damn it woman - let him have his iTouch!! Then, sit back with the alcohol (it better not be one of those itsy-bitsy one drink minis) and try to enjoy the rest of your vacation! I think we can all forgive you not commenting right now!

    (Why are we always the ones that end up carrying everything? I often feel like Rachel Ray getting all that s*** out of her cupboard for her 30 minute meals - only with heavier stuff!)

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  7. I love that sandcastle, it looks like something out of Star Wars! Hope the holiday improves xx

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  8. I am judging you. One bottle per day doesn't seem near enough to get you through.

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  9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry for laughing...really...well...no-really I'm not. I too think that more alcohol is needed..:)

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  10. If I could, I would prescribe oodles (medical term, right?) of rum and little umbrellas inside of faux coconut cups. You deserve it. But, hey, even if yiu didn't, it makes everything just that much more enjoyable after all, if Momma isn't happy, no one is, right?!

    I love that you are blogging this vaca. Keep it up!

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  11. I know just what you mean. Anyway, whatever works. :)

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  12. Oh, I'm not judging you! Not at all... only ONE bottle a day??!

    Oh dear... hope things get better! Does it make you feel any better if I say that you are entertaining us with your holiday posts??!

    xx Jazzy

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  13. Oh, I'm so sorry. Hope its OK to laugh at your expense though...the outside voice thing and "not my preferred activity" are priceless!

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  14. Alcohol in a beach towel? Why haven't I thought of that? Now I feel like I've wasted so much time.

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  15. I'm impressed that you've figured out how to plug in at the beach..I have trouble getting everything to work from here most of the time(see end of message). I'm impressed that you actually made it to the beach. That sand castle is totally incredible. Drink up! BTW - this is Allison (Fondoville) and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to correctly post to this site.

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  16. @lyndylou--any I can do to help!

    @Mom2LittleMiss--right now it's white wine.

    @John and Allie Fields--I'm almost there....

    @Christy--or maybe we should say, "this is my activity of choice" with a bottle of wine...

    @DeeAnn--so true!

    @Rebecca--thanks!

    @Karen V.--you gave me a laugh, Rachel Ray indedd!!!

    @Looking for Blue Sky--it has!

    @Kara--hahaha!!

    @Kathleen--I can do that.

    @Kelly--I can call it medicinal alcohol, that has a nice rign to it...

    @Amanda-- :)

    @Jazzy-- you crack me up!

    @Accidental Expert--I know, if I didn't laugh I'd cry. Much better to laugh.

    @bbsmum--that gave me a giggle!

    @Allison--I'm liking blogger less and less--it's been doing that to me a lot too! Grrr.

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  17. Well that sounds like a lovely, relaxing vacation.

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  18. Sure wish I was on that boat ride! Thanks for sharing your beach towel stash with me! Not! I tried to share with you at the condo and you turned me down. Next trip I'm checking out your water bottle.;) Now I know why you are so easy to get along with Shellin Sista!

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  19. @Flannery--it was much better when I started downing the alcohol!!!

    @ My Shelling Sistah--that boat ride was hell. Pure hell on the water. I would have jumped out and tried to drowned but it was only 4 feet deep. Enough to get me all slimy. EWWW.

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  20. LOL! That made me laugh! Hahaha! Anyways, the holidays have been mostly anything other than relaxing, and that sucks! I mean you get out of town to see new places and experience new things and suddenly you have these inconveniences blocking your way. Argh! But still, finding the best way to spend your holidays is a thumbs-up. Cheers! :D

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Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.