We are still on Spring Break. I hope the teachers are yucking it up because when they get back there's going to be hell to pay. The boy's not happy about missing school and has taken to Hanging his teacher and anyone else he can think of. Thank God for parental control is all I can say.
The only thing bringing me some semblance of peace is the fact the kids have Tae Kwon Do camp. Four blissful days from nine till noon where I only have the baby.
But there's been a catch. On the first day Alex and Lizzy both brought home this pleasant little surprise:
It's so phallic it's wrong.
Yeah, that's right. Frigging nunchucks. Always a fun toy to have around when your kid has no concept of personal space. Add limited gross and fine motor skills and its just bound to go south. Only a matter of time. And since the oldest two have a healthy case of sibling rivalry, they've been beating the shit out of each other since the first day of Camp.
So during Spring Break I may, or may not, have said things like:
"Please guys, don't nunchuck your sister."
"Alex, you have to remember the nunchuck increases the size of your bubble. OUCH. GAWD. FUCK. Those things hurt. Please don't nunchuck me like that."
"Hey honey, hand me a nunchuck. Come on, quick! The neighbors dog just broke the fence and I think I can get him. Come-on, give me a damn nunchuck. Aw frick, he just went back in. Never mind."
"Is that the way Master Lee showed you how to use those things? No, I didn't think so..."
"Please guys, don't nunchuck the windows. They didn't do anything to deserve that kind of treatment."
"Here let mommy try, those things look pretty easy. OUCH. GAWD. FUCK. Those things really hurt."
"For the last time: DO NOT NUNCHUCK YOUR LITTLE SISTER."
"That's it. I've had it. Hand them over. The nunchucks are in time-out."
In that vein, I give you this:
I'll stop there but really, with nunchucks? The possibilities are endless....