Friday, June 29, 2012

Survival of the fittest. Problem is, I'm not that fit.

I've been a bit absent here.  I don't know about everyone else but this summer's been a bit rough for us.  I've been trying to get the kids on some kind of schedule and I think I'm failing miserably.  The kids are hot, cranky, sick of each other and I'm right there with them.

By the time I'm able to sit down for a few minutes I've already got one of the kids telling me something about the other one.  They're ratting each other out like its an Olympic sport.  

"Mom, he's touching me!  Stoooop!  Quit touching me!"

"Well, I'm not exactly touching you.  I have my hand approximately one inch from your abdomen and tehcnically that's not touching you."

"Moooooom, that's so not fair!  Make him stop!"

"Ouch!  Mom, she hit me!"

The dreaded words, "I'm bored," have been uttered in this house about 189,493 times, in one day.  By one child.  I have three.  See my problem???

These kids act like I'm killing them every time I suggest an activity and they go out of their way to act like they're dying, truly dying, of boredom.  If my daughter doesn't major in Theatrics in College then you can collect your twenty bucks.  I swear, she's as dramatic as they come and I'm so screwed when she hits the pre-teen years.

Anyway, I've resorted to forcing them to do things, like go to the pool (oh the horrors) and they have fun once they get there but Good God All Mighty the effort involved just getting them stuffed out the door is mind-numbing.

Mind-numbing.

And I've come up with some responces for the kids hounding me 24/7 about how bored they are.  While I want to be involved in what the kids do, I believe they need to sort out some of their own issues.  So I've been saying this on a regular basis:

"Is there blood?"

"Are you dying?"

"Are you even close to dying?"

"No???  Then please work it out and leave me pee.  ALONE."

And it's been like that in our house for the last few weeks.  I'm a glorified referee, the kids are slowly driving me insane and I'm exhausted.  Add to it, the heat, Oh My God the heat, and I think someone may discover our dead bodies after the fact.

Cool down on Monday!!!

So I've been silent, not visiting my friends, not blogging as much and generally been absent because at this point I'm just trying to survive.

And sometimes I think surviving is enough.


49 comments:

  1. Sounds like my house! I get so sick of Sarah Hazel whining about her brother hitting her that I finally just said "hit him back".

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    1. I would be lying and my pants would light on fire if I said I never did that. Like yesterday. Three times.

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  2. Hang in there!!! Get some boxing gloves, and it will be ok :D <3

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    1. Courtney, that is such a good idea! I'll just take which ever kid survives....

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  3. Right there with you.
    My new line is "You're bored? Well I guess you don't need this toy. Or this one. I can get rid of them, right?"
    Works for like 5 minutes. So today's bribe is ice cream for lunch. Survival of the semi-fit.

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    1. OMG, that's a good idea!!! Lets see how long before his butt puckers when I try to snag that Monopoly game. :)

      And I can totally do ice cream for lunch. We had ice pops and hot dogs. In that order.

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  4. Sounds like our house...and I've started hiding in another room. If they absolutely need me, they'll drag themselves away from annoying each other long enough to come find me. Ugh.

    Your forecast, by the way, looks gross. We're in the upper 90's here, and with the humidity, I'm worthless. Bleh.

    Hang in there.

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    1. And the upped the forecast. It's all over 100. I swear my kids are melting.

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  5. Yeah, pretty much. The only difference in my house is when I hear, "I'm bored," I say, "Well, I DO have this list of chores that need done that I haven't gotten to because I've had to sit here watching the two of you since I can't even seem to leave the room long enough to pee without someone acting a fool." (all said in one breath of exasperation) Miraculously, they find stuff to do and sometimes even leave each other alone for 30 seconds. As a result of the not being able to really leave the room, I've been trolling Facebook a lot, and reading other people's blogs (but no one else is writing either). I can't concentrate to write anything with all the screaming, crying and "He hit me!"s.

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    1. SMART Amanda! hehe!

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    2. I LOVE IT. I made them empty the dishwasher and they almost DIED. Died I tell you, died.

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  6. I too have a hard time entertaining my son, but it's manageable because he's by himself. I couldn't imagine having 3 or more to deal with.

    Today is Jacob's last day of school and he's already asked me about our trips that we're planning on taking this summer. Luckily for me, my son loves swimming at the rec centre and it's been hot, but not that hot.

    If you get too stressed out, just think that summer is oly 2 months.

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    1. I have 2 months, I can get through this. I have 2 months, I can get through this. I have 2 months, I can get through this.

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  7. The summer has been going surprisingly well for us. But I think I'm in the minority. As a blog-reader. . . summer's misery seems to be the common thread.

    HORRIBLE heat

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    1. I like you and I mean this in the nicest of ways, "I hate you."

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  8. That forecast looks awesome to me!! If it was ldoormat year round I'd move next door- so lucky for you it gets cold there. I'm actually relieved to read that it's the kids driving you nuts not blogging and not your back! That's a good thing...right?

    I'm kinda with Jim - summer hasn't been bad so far (knock in wood) but we have ESY and ABA which is good because just with the one I might otherwise end up with a fashionable strait jacket and I just could not do that onein the heat! ;)

    Margaritas do soothe pain quite well you know?

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    1. Back is getting better. Slowly, but I'll take it!!! And I hate you too. Now pass those margaritas.....

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  9. Like Jim, my summer is going surprisingly well too. Except for that one acorn incident. But the heat, OMG the HEAT...I would so rather be cold than hot, and might have to move to Alaska. You can come and visit but don't bring the kids, they might get BORED.

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    1. That acorn one was bad. Thing is, I lived in Fargo for 10 years and I've lived in the cold. I can't stand the cold so for as much as I B and C about the heat, I'll take it over minus 40. But I do miss my friends up there.

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  10. I'm right there with you. It is hot and miserable....and I can't wait for fall;D I suppose I could take my children out in public. But, they are whiney and difficult today:/

    I'm trying to do some pool activities at home with the kids each day. I should have some cool stuff up by the end of the day Lizbeth. So check tomorrow.

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    1. We went to the pool for a bit today but it took an act of God to get them out the door and then all they did was complain they were hungry to which I told them if they would have LISTENED and gotten ready 2 hours ago it wouldn't be lunch time. Then we went home and ate. Uggghhhh.....

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    2. My kids are the exact same way. It can be frustrating. I hate that they refuse the meals I make but then want to make cheese sandwiches 15 minutes after the meal. What a waste! My cooking is not that bad;D

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  11. OH! HONEY! YOU have just not figured out the PROPER response, yet. Let me give you a HINT: They just want a hug! AND a kiss! On the LIPS! From MOM! OMG! bbwwahahahaha! So, when they come whining to you, you just jump up, as though you are completely involved, and cry as you bodily rush them, "Oh, HONEY! I can tell you just need a HUG! AND a KISS! You do this every time they rush you with their whining, and give them BIG smackaroos, real noisy ones, for their kiss. I PROMISE if you use this behavior consistently, they will shun you like a disease! (After they try you for about 5 times to see if you have really left our solar system without them.) Next thing you know, they will be off playing by themselves! hint: do not be hurt by the "Oh MOM! NASTY! That is SOOOO GROSS!- :)

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    1. Now I think we're on to something. Between you and Amanda I think my kids are going to find playing with each other way better than coming across my path. I'm just waiting for one of them to come in now so I can give a smooch.

      Check back on FB later and I'll tell you how it went. :)

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  12. We haven't even started our summer hols yet; another month to go not that it will make much difference. Two kids out of school, home tutors coming in some of the time, I'm sick of the house. And as for the bored word, I am already fed up of it. Daughter always complaining she is bored even when we're doing something.

    I don't envy your heat though yesterday we had a massive storm which for British storms was something; floods and no power and two bored kids. Played jigsaws all day. Deb

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    1. I'd give money for rain now. We're in almost a brown out state and there is no rain for almost two weeks yet. And with humidity the "feels like" temp hovers around 105-107. Hot. I stuffed them out to the pool for a bit today but geez, they're feral. I'm bribing them with ice-pops and ice cream. They're happy with that so I'm happy!

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  13. Wow.... We were freezing for a while, but we've finally had a couple of days of pathetic sunshine, so I can't complain about the heat... You have to force them to go swimming?? My god! I like some of the above suggestions: list of chores and smothering when they say they're bored. We're having a great summer so far (not to jinx it), except for the days when we were stuck in the house cause it was raining so hard. I was wearing ugg boots in JUNE! Crazy, huh? But yeah, the heat and humidity would kill me too...

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    1. Yeah, even today I had to bribe them to go to the pool. And it took longer to get them stuffed out the door than the actual time at the pool. But they did have fun so I'll keep trying. I just can't have them plugged into the TV or computer all day!!!

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  14. LOL, now try that with six home between ages 14 years & 20 months! I am so glad I work four nights a week & can escape! Oops, does that make me a bad mommy? Even though I detest my job it does bring me just a little bit of sanity. And talk about drama queens.....however with us it is my beautiful 20 month old Larkyn who will one day be bringing home the academy award for best actress! LOL! Believe me she also lets EVERYONE in the house know that it is in fact HER who reigns supreme in our house! She bullies everyone including daddy! Actually it is pretty funny. I haven't had a child yet that makes me laugh so much.

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  15. We hit 108 yesterday and are supposed to be there again today. A perfect stay inside day.

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  16. There is an episode of Mystery Science Theater where one of the characters is in the other's face, saying "I'm not touching you!" Over and over. Cracked me up, because such behavior was the number one reason my brother and I got into some huge fistfights growing up. My mother used to pretend she couldn't hear us, but we knew better!

    I hope that the hot weather throws you a thunderstorm to cool things off!

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  17. I feel for you! I heard the B word today myself. My son called me today while I was at the grocery store demanding to know where I was and then launching into how bored he is and how boring I am and he's leaving and not coming back. Promise??? I wasn't too worried because he has no job and no money. When he was a kid I felt some responsibility in helping him get through the summer without dieing of boredom (not that much though). Now that he's freakin 20 years old I think it's time for him to amuse himself. A job or at least some attempt at getting a job wouldn;t hurt. The list of chores thing always used to work when he was a kid.

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  18. I hope you can all go dance in the rain soon and it cools off...that ought to. Be a solid five minute respite until there are complaints about being wet!

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  19. So wait a minute, my kids aren't the only one's who do that? The constant bickering is happening to someone else too?! Great! No I mean bad, but great that someone else understands my pain :). I must hear "MOM" screamed a thousand times a day followed by some ridiculous 'injustice' that has occured. My response is always, "Unless you are bleeding or on fire, you should NOT scream like that! Ever!" Which is always met with a sigh of disgust by my boys. :)

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  20. Wanna come camping with us? Because, really, the only thing missing that could make this summer more miserable is living it OUTSIDE. We have lost our dang minds. So whadya say?? =)

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    1. OMG camping!?!? I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to say no. OMG you poor thing!!! Want me to bring Vodka???

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  21. I'm right there with you. If one more person comes to tattle on somebody while I'm peeing, I'm handing out karate chops!

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  22. I am actually digging deep into my pockets to get some serious sun...hope you get some fresh rain too cool you off

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  23. Oh no, mine finished school yesterday... Luckily it's not hot here, add in the mix of 3 kids one of which can't walk, so the older two want to go and do something while my special chappy can't...

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  24. Well, Lizbeth, I always said you were a hottie.

    I saw the weather forecast for your state yesterday and thought of you. Your heat is national news, you know. We hit 99 here yesterday, which is way too hot to even go to the pool, so after work I huddled at home in the AC and refused to leave. We have far too many wacky characters that go to our pool, and my tolerance for them on a good day is limited. Going to the pool when I'm overheated and cranky is not advisable. For anyone.

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    1. I've not looked at the news in about 3 years. Alex caught it one time and he freaked out for some reason. Now I'm stuck watching My Pretty Pony. I'm in hell. And judging from the temperature I'm pretty spot on.

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  25. Yet another argument for only having one kid ;-) No ratting and no whining about what brother or sister did.

    But in all seriousness, you pull it off like a pro. Hang in there lady - it's June 30. That means we are 1/3 of the way through this torment.

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    1. Woo Hoo!!!! And now we're in July!!!

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  26. I totally remember complaining to my mom about being bored. I think every kid does it. Crap, it would be nice to be bored again!

    Hey, maybe you could use our Kindergarten "B Emeregency" rule with your kids... Blood, Barf, Bathroom. :)

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  27. Oh Lizbeth, I feel for you! Whilst I've had reason to celebrate over my boy this week we are only on Day 4 of summer school holidays here in Ireland. By day 2 I threatened to lock the rooms that contained screens until 5pm each day...and to lock him out of the house so that he could go do what we we did as kids...Play. OUTSIDE!!

    xx Jazzy

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    1. My problem with playing outside is it's too hot!!! I know, right???? It's been over 100 for about a week now and uggghh...I want some of your weather!!!

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  28. I like jazzygal's idea and if my son had any road sense I would do it. My Mum did, except she didn't need to lock the door. We just didn't dare go in again until lunch time!

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