Friday, September 28, 2012

Look who came back from the dead.

I must be feeling better because while I was out getting more pretzels for Alex, some dude cut me off in traffic and I immediately thought, "You stupid son-of-a-bitch."  At that moment I knew I'd come back from the dead.  Every single one of us have been sick in this house, probably with two or three different things, going on about three weeks now.

Alex was still not better after a week so we went to his doctor to check him out.  Autism and Asthma make a horrible combination and for a kid who can't tell me when he's going to puke, I hold out very little hope he can tell me if its hard to breathe.

Screw you people for jamming a q-tip down my throat.  

Turns out, we all have strep.  That would explain why my throat has been on FIRE, why I've been feverish and why I've been partly delusional, aside from my normal delusions of grandeur.

It's amazing what antibiotics can do.  Sure they're ripping through my gut like a tsunami but by God, I can breathe and for the first time in a solid week I can think clearly.  That right there, is better living through chemistry.  

Now I have to pick up the remnants of my house and get our lives back together.

I think I have:
  • 15 loads of laundry to do.
  • 8 missed therapies.
  • 2 missed groups.
  • 1 missed garden club for Alex.
  • 1 possible dead crab.
  • 2 dentist appointments, completely overlooked.
  • 6 toilets to scrub.

And I may have:
  • OD'ed three times on NyQuil by slugging it like a shot, screwing that little cup/dispenser thing on top.  
  • Found three abdominals I never knew I had, while coughing/puking at 10:00 PM and 2:00 AM, respectively. 
  • Wished I was dead 42 times. 
  • Cussed out about 8 dragons in DragonVale that have lead to major malfunctions in this house.  I'm looking at you, Equinox Dragon.  
  • And 1 sick husband. 

And don't worry, all the crabs are alive (damn-it) and turns out when you're sick you do make bad decisions so the trim on the house needs to be repainted.  You should have heard that foul language.

Aside from all of that, it's good to be back.


16 comments:

  1. From your list I would think the 1 sick husband would be the worst! At least that's the way it is in my house.

    Welcome back to the land of the living.
    I hope it keeps gettin' better....just in time for the weekend. :-)

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  2. Strep seems to be making the rounds. I am glad that you are on the mend, but I do not envy you the laundry. Not at all.

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  3. OK - this is ridiculous. You (and your family) have GOT to stop getting sick. Or else you need to start going to church. Why? Because when you are sick, people from church bring food and do chores for you. I'm thinking at the rate you're going, about 3 months out of the year, you'd be golden. :)

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  4. Oh my goodness! Glad you are feeling better. I agree with Margaret sick husbands are the most challenging item on your list. And I think strep is the second:(

    Sorry that the crabs are all still alive. If it makes you feel better, a few years back we bought a turtle from Petco. On my original attempt to find info on this turtle I read that they might live 15-20 years. But, I figured the turtle was coming from Petco and it was probably disease ridden and wouldn't last long. Well, I should have done more research b/c apparently this type of turtle can live for 50 years! WTF have I done? Research research research....never underestimate its value:/

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  5. My son is sick too. Puking and coughing all the time. And now i feel ill to boot. Curse those school kids and there over abundance of germs. Don't they know that my son has asthma and autism and refuses to take medicine?

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  6. Glad you're feeling better! Please don't send strep this way! I have a wedding to get through next weekend!

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  7. There goes your excuse to lay around and do nothing!

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  8. Ooh how I like Lana's idea about my church friends helping me out with meals and chores while I'm sick!! Except your family is full of "pukers" so I don't know how helpful the meals would be... Anyway, glad to hear that antibiotics still work -that's promising since my kid also currently has a snotty nose and cough... although nothing "good" enough to warrant the coveted prescription - we always have to wait until he's encrusted with some green boogers all over his face and then bring him in for that RX (!) And yes, the sign of coming back from the dead is cussing out drivers who cut you off in traffic, for sure.

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  9. Luckily we are not overachievers here, so I am hoping that boosts our chances of just lazily wandering around with stuffy noses and coughs. Oh, and by the way, those are not delusions...you are GRAND!!!!! xoxox

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  10. Yay, so glad you're feeling better. Gosh, when you guys get sick, it's like frat boys in Vegas. You did it HARD CORE.

    Sorry to hear that you botched the trim color. It might just be easier to sell the house and move, at this rate. (leave the crabs behind)

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  11. Strep throat is HORRIBLE :( I would've OD'ed on a lot more than NyQuil xx

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  12. Glad you're feeling better. The three week funk ain't no joke!

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  13. This is her twin sister who would like to add a line or two. I have to share how considerate my sis is......On Tuesday after thinking I was a dragon as I could cast fire with my sore throat, my sis called. In my haze of dragon breathing she called. As I ekked out a hello, she was on the other line laughing, as she had calculated the days till I was in the fiery throws of strep. She just called to make sure I was alive. Now on day three of antibiotics I have a volcano in my belly. And throat still hurts. I have not even lost a pound.....

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  14. I'm glad that you are feeling better! Strep is miserable. My cousin got strep and ended up with scarlet fever when she was in college. It sounded super duper fun.

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  15. And it's good to have you back! Sod the missed appointments, you'll catch up and commiserations on the not-so-dead crabs ;-)

    xx Jazzy

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  16. I'm glad you're feeling better! And whoo boy, what a list!

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