Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Your fired.

So I went to pick up my oldest kid at school and was met by his teacher and para.  For those of you who don't know, this is a very, VERY, bad thing.  They proceeded to tell me how upset they were since Alex "fired his teacher today at lunch."  My first reaction was to bust out laughing.  I soon realized no one else was laughing as hard, or at all.  They were not impressed.  Anyhoo, I was told they had developed an action plan to stop "unwanted verbal behavior."   And have I noticed these behaviors at home?   Well, have you???  This time it took everything I had to not laugh again.  

Welcome to my world.  Welcome to the world of a mom who has a kid with Asperger's.  A world that is so different form a normal kid's I have no idea what a normal boy does.  I do know I'll never have to watch him play football, soccer or any other organized sport.  Thank God.  You have no idea how much I loathe the idea of freezing my bits off watching kids kick a ball around.  And then having to play nice with all the other moms.  Just not my thing.  I know he's smarter than I'll ever be but can't make sense of a person in the most general of terms.  I know he's as literal as a board.  If you ask him to shake a leg, he will (seriously) stand there shaking his leg till you tell him to stop.  I know he likes Kraft Mac & Cheese for lunch.  But only for lunch.  And only the individual packets.  And made with the noodles and cheese in separate dishes so they don't contaminate each other.  I've tried to switch out to a big box or to a different brand and was reminded that "that was not what I ordered"  and had it thrust back at me.  I know he freaks if his routine is changed or tweaked in the slightest and he lights up like a comet if you tell him he gets an extra 20 minutes on the computer. 

The solitary bird, as is the kid with Asperger's.

Anyway, back to the drama at hand.  I had to listen to his teacher explain how hurt and shocked she was (cause it's all about her, right?) and listen to all three of them go on and on about resolving the issue.  I had to explain to them  that I've been fired from being his mom on a daily basis.  I have been replaced by my mother, my sister and even the neighbor.  He then fired all of THEM since they didn't know how to work the navigation system on the minivan.  Seriously. 

So we get home and  I asked Alex if he had a good day and he said "Mom, it was great!  I talked to some kids at school!"

Welcome to my world.

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