Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Brace yourselves, we had a busy weekend.

That title's a bit deceiving.  We really didn't have a busy weekend at all but it sure felt like it.  Now that we're done with Labor Day I feel like we're really into the school year.  You may feel free to insert your favorite cuss words or your exclamations of joy here depending on which camp you're in.

Me, personally, I need a vacation.

Just for kicks, let's recap the weekend, shall we?  With it being Labor Day and all, you'd think we did something exciting.  Yeah, no.

We actually did try going to the Zoo on Sunday but somebody who shall remain nameless labeled the Downtown City Market as the Zoo in the car's navigation system and since you know, we turned into chimps and the car was driving us, we blindly went downtown instead of the Zoo.

Horrible, horrible mistake.

By the time we figured out our own stupidity, we wound up with:

  • One really pissed-off little girl: "This isn't the Zoo!  I want to pet the lambs!  Where are the lambs???  I don't see any lambs!  WAAAAA!!!!!" 
  • One car-sick boy: "Mom, my shoulder hurts."  And just like that, breakfast was all over the backseats of the car.  Mental note: Sudoku + driving = sick boy. 
  • A baby who promptly fell asleep and then was a little bitch for the rest of the day.  
  • With Lizzy still screaming and Alex puking I called it officially over and we went back home.  Please skip this paragraph if you don't like nasty language.  It sounded similar, but not exactly like, "God Dammit, how in the hell did we make it downtown?!?  Oh Fuck No.  He did not just puke back there.  Oh God Dammit, he did.  Son of a Bitch, this is such bullshit.  I'M DONE.  How long is it going to take us to get home?  Thirty minutes?? Oh fuck no.  I'M OUT.  No, no, no guys mommy's not really getting out of the car.  It's just an expression.  She's just really had a rough morning.  Can you guys just keep your headsets on for a few minutes?  Yeah, you can?  You guys are great!"

So I've clearly been a little strung out...    

That's why we did a bunch of nothing over the long weekend.

Friday night:


On Sunday one dropped out but the other was still going strong:

And Monday he was back into his Saturday clothes and doing a little more of this:

And Tuesday they went back to school.

Amen and The End.


  1. Trust me. I would have said the same things if pukage were happening in my car.

  2. Wow. Holiday weekends are overrated, aren't they?

  3. What is it about certain outings that are just doomed from the beginning?! You were smart to just turn that hoopdy around and cut your losses. Those particular types of events make my stim more noticeable - slurping my whiskey instead of sipping it.

  4. Sheesh - you sound like I would have. Only, I would have totally busted out my BIG curse string: J-F'ing-C. That'll give the therapists and teachers something to talk about when the kiddos repeat THAT on the playground.

    And, yeah, you need a vaca, woman. :)

  5. down time is good time. school is for learning. that's it, short and simple. never try the zoo again, it's really not worth it :)

  6. Looks like my house and thanks for reminding me why I never want s Satnav :)

  7. I'm thinking of that episode of The Office where the GPS told Michael to turn right, so he did, even though there was no road there, and he drove the car into a lake. So, see?? It could have been worse.

    Yes, I know this comment is helpful. You're welcome.

  8. Amen to the baby who's a little bitch for the rest of the day!

    And I'm loving your pictures!! Taz is having days like that, only with Betty screaming beside him cause she wants to play with it and it's juuust out of reach.

  9. This is funny! Lambs - ha! This isn't the zoo!

  10. I LOVE iPad weekends ;-) Puking in the car and zoo fails... not-so-much. Like Kelly, I probably would have had to pull out the big guns on the swear-stream (I'm an "awww... for F%&* sake!" kinda gal myself).

    So question -- what game is he playing on the laptop there on Sunday? Looks like something I could get into! :-)

  11. Nothing like coming back to a puke story!! Woman - I think you were eff'ed either way - if you stayed home, you'd go crazy and you went out and got -well - geez -that really, really sucked! Nothing like puke in the car with a screaming baby for atmosphere. That truly wins the s*** story for the week! Of course, I'm just starting to catch up with everybody so I may have to take that back but probably not. ;)

  12. Yeah, I would have called it after the puking incident too. And I would have made my husband,er, nameless person, pay dearly for that mistake.

    We did nothing either. Instead of computers, we do movies and such. Yeah, I know, best mom ever. You know what, we're not dancing monkeys for our kids, right?

  13. OK, so I just can't get past the part where your only warning of impending puke doom was an achy shoulder...yikes--that announcement would not have made me grab a bag! I bet there were plenty of pictures of animals available on the ipads!

  14. You crack me up! I loved your last paragraph. When we lived in Oregon, we missed the exit to the Portland Zoo EVERY DAMN TIME. The problem with that is, if you don't exit where you should, you end up driving over the Columbia River and into Washington State before you can turn around. I'm sure my husband and I used a little of that language ourselves. :)


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