Behold the power of the Bar Code.

We have a new thing in our house as of last week.  It's called:  Scan a bar code with your I-touch and see how much it costs anywhere on earth and where we can find it cheaper.  Literally.  I can search the whole world and see the store that has the cheapest price.

Thank you Alex and the App Store.

See, this all started two weeks ago when Alex had a good OT session.  When he has a good session we have agreed that he can download one free App to his I-touch.  Yes, I bribe my kids.  It's horrible I know.  It works for us so I'm not stopping.  There I said it.

Anyway, it was great fun for the first twenty minutes but now everything in the house is being scanned including, but not limited to: tampons, toilet paper, a can of refried beans, a mechanical pencil, calculator, a game of scrabble and hand soap.  Anything with a bar code.

See, here's the game of Scrabble.  

Our Scrabble bar code.

And here's where we can buy it cheaper.

You got screwed if you bought it at Micro Center.

So on Sunday, stupid, stupid me, I decided we need some of the basic elements of survival including milk, eggs and bread.  I hauled the kids to Costo, two Sunday's before the Holiest of Holy Days on Earth.  Somewhere in the back recesses of my mind I thought that was a good idea.

Next time I come up with a gem like that someone, anyone, can you find a baseball bat and just smack me around a bit?

Stupid, stupid me.

Anyway, Alex was twitching before we even got to the car having a heenie since, "Costco DOES NOT have free wireless, Sam's has free wireless.  We should be going to Sam's Club NOT Costco.  Did I mention that Costco does not have free wireless?  Is anyone using their ears?  ACCCKK!"

"Yeah babe, I'm using my ears and I hear you but we need to get Gracie's milk at Costco and Sam's doesn't have it."

"Uggggh, but Costco doesn't have free wireless!!!"

"Uggggh, should we just let your sister starve then?  All because you want free wireless???"

"YES."

Mental Note:  Never ask a Spectrum kid a question you don't really want an answer to and a personal thank you to Sam's Club for stocking everything I need except Soy non-refrigerated milk that my daughter chugs by the gallon.  And yes she really does have a milk allergy.  I'm looking at you extended family.    

So anyway, we get to Costco and wouldn't you know they DO have free wireless.  Falls under the category of things that would have been nice to know yesterday, or forty-five minutes earlier, but I digress.

As we were walking in to Costco debating the finer points of free wireless Alex had an epiphany.  He saw Costco in a whole new light.  He made a connection.  It was like the pearly gates opened up and God smiled down upon us.

All the things in the store have bar codes.  Every last item had scanning potential.  And we were in a warehouse of scanning potential.  A warehouse.

Everything that usually hurt his eyes became something entirely different.  They became: The Ultimate Scanning Opportunity.

At that moment Costco was my boys version of Heaven.  He almost lost his I-touch he was flapping his arms so dang hard.

And for the next two hours we stayed in Costco scanning every frigging item he could get his grubby little hands on.  DVD's, games for Play Station, Wii, socks, books, meats, produce, Christmas garland, nativity scenes, jewelry, cheese, cutlery, soda.

You name it, we scanned it.

And because he was extra excited he was talking in his outdoor voice inside Costco the whole time.

He made friends all over the place.

In the DVD section loudly exclaiming, "WOW WALMART SELLS THIS MOVIE FOR NINE DOLLARS LESS.  WOW!!!  TARGET, WOMP, WOMP, WOMP, SIX DOLLARS MORE!!!"

In the toy section, "WOW, YOU CAN ONLY PURCHASE THIS ON-LINE.  AND THEY CHARGE FOR SHIPPING.  WOMP, WOPM WOMP...RIP-OFF!"

In the produce section, "A WHOLE CHICKEN IS WAY MORE EXPENSIVE AT PRICE CHOPPER.  WHO'D SHOP THERE???"

It's the season of giving all right and let me tell you, my son's a giver.  He was giving price advice all over the place.  And the thing was, for the most part people loved it.  Impressed that an eight year old was able to tell them the best deal from his I-touch.  They loved how he was sharing and giving unsolicited advice.  Because when it came to money, people listened.

And that my friends is the true story of how our weekly visit to the inner circle of hell turned into a two hour adventure on Sunday.  For the first time ever, we had fun at Costco and our meltdowns were at the beginning of the trip and not at the end.


Note: Alex uses the App called RedLaser.  If anyone's interested just click on the link.  I think you can also get it at the App Store as well, I don't know I'd have to ask Alex.  Anyway, enjoy your shopping and now you too can start scanning every frigging item Costco sells.  Have fun with that.