Monday, December 12, 2011

I caught a thief on camera..seriously, you gotta see this.

I swear sometimes this blog writes itself.  I think this post falls under the category of: Shit I Couldn't Make Up Myself, Even if I Tried.  

I'm not going to talk about Autism today.  Instead I'm going to talk about the douche-bag who drove up to my garage door and stole my shit in broad daylight.  That's right.  That fucker down there drove right up to my garage and stole my contractor's leaf blower. 


That was a big mistake, minster.  

See, we have six external video surveillance cameras at our house.  All motion detected.  So when you drove your sorry ass up the drive, two of the six videos started rolling.  And we caught you on camera. Red-handed.   

Like a good citizen, I turned the video into the police and filed a report.  After we had a good laugh at your expense I posted the video here and also to YouTube.

Your Welcome.  

I'm half tempted to bait you and see if you go Christmas shopping on my driveway again.  I want to put garden tools and shit out with a post-it on it that says "SMILE" just so we can get a better picture of your sorry ass.  Because I'm that kind of a girl.   

And to think I was vehemently opposed to having video surveillance at our house and fought my husband tooth and nail when it went in. I didn't like being video-captured all the damn time and felt like we had a real life sleeping with the enemy thing going on.  It made me feel somewhat violated and a little creeped out.

On occasion, I'd take my revenge and would go up to a camera and pull my shirt up like I was in New Orleans begging for beads.  I'd give the camera a free titty show and go about my business.  

Then I realized my husband never watched any of the surveillance footage.  Ever.  All the jiggles and wiggles I did were in vain.  Whatever.  

And then I got over it, forgot about the video cameras and moved on with life.  

Then the other day, we hit pay-dirt.  

Now what makes me feel violated is the fact this scum-bag came up to my house like he owned it and, in under a minute, walked away with something that didn't belong to him.   

You aught to be ashamed of yourself.  

The fact you couldn't back out the damn drive and gave me a lawn job was icing on the cake.  

Just for that, I get first dibs on kicking you in the nuts.  

Note:  If you want to go to YouTube directly and watch this douche-canoe, this will get you there:

Anyone who knows this scum-bag can report him to the Leawood Police in Kansas, 913-642-5555.  


  1. You beat me to it: I was totally going to rip on his "reverse" driving skillz...what a major doucher.

    I am so sorry you had this happen, though. People fricking suck ass, don't they. Merry Christmas, Thief. The karma train will be along soon.

  2. What blows my mind is that he's driving that nice truck, but trolling around and stealing shit from people.

    Too bad your camera wasn't angled where you could get his license plate. Still, good detective work.

    Guess you need to admit to hubby that he's da man.

    Hope you get an identity on him so you can press charges.

    What a fuckwad.

  3. What a Douchebag! Hope you catch him!

  4. So. . .what you're saying is that this incident is NOT the most exciting thing ever captured on your video cameras. . .I think you should definitely post that OTHER STUFF on YouTube as well.

    What's with the paper that guy's carrying in his hand? Like he's trying to look all official, like he's supposed to be there?

    I had the same thought as Flan about the license plates. I have never understood why some states only require them on the BACK of the vehicle. If he had one on the front, the cops would've had him in about 6 minutes. I guess they figure you're more likely to see a perp running away from you than heading toward you.

    Maybe he can steal himself some rearview mirrors next. Or driving lessons. Hope they catch that bastard.

  5. OMG - what kind of jerk does something like this. And he's all calm about it too - not once looking over his shoulder, just like driving onto someone else's property and stealing stuff is the most natural thing for him to do.

    I hope they catch him quick.

    I think the worst part of this whole thing is that your husband will never let you forget this. Ever. "Remember how you fought me over the video surveillance..."

    It's a small price to pay.

  6. Hopefully someone airs this on television (local news stations?) and he's recognized and caught.

  7. Lizbeth, keep us posted on this, because people who steal piss me off SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH, I can't even begin to describe.

    p.s. I don't think that was revenge on your hub. Wouldn't he have liked that little video you provided?

  8. WOW -- you got some NICE cameras, sister! Seriously.. those are department-store quality!

    Yeah, I noticed the clip-board action too. Like "if I carry this paper, people will think I'm official..." But what kind of "official" contractor puts a leaf blower in the CAB? Dunmbass!

  9. Nice camera system. What kind is it?

  10. Wait. He can afford to drive a truck like that, yet needs to steal a leaf blower? What a flippin' idiot. Someone needs to show the guy how to drive in reverse.

  11. I was going to mention that his backing up skills are about as bad as mine. And wow, he almost hit that van. I hope you catch his ass.

  12. Loving the quality of the clip, but so sorry you had to go through this so that we could all see it :( Perhaps I'm a bit slow, but where is the number plate of this *sshole? And I hope you get to do the follow up arrest video, then you can do a mash up on youtube as a warning to any other prospective leaf-blower thieves!

  13. Yeah, that sucks! I know that violated feeling... It must be the season for rip offs. I got to the office this morning and we thought the water was turned off. Actually, some asshole stole our copper piping for the water to our building!

    Nice truck - must come from selling those leaf blowers on the down-low... If you catch him, kick his ass for me too!

  14. What a turd. He tried to look all official with his papers but then he blew it when he did the paranoid look around as he picked up the blower.

    That's a freaking sweet camera system!

  15. Wow, you live in a pretty nice neighborhood, too! I thought, who would steal a freakin' leaf blower? Can you fence that kind of stuff? Are leaf blowers used to make meth?

    Glad that you got him on film!

  16. you are awesome
    i am so glad you nailed that awful throbbing hemorrhoid of a thief

  17. Please, please, please let us know how this turns out! I can't wait to hear what happens.... And I think you should turn the video in to one of those "dumbest criminals" sites.

  18. OMG you guys....the local news picked it up and ran it on the 6:00 news. I'm laughing my ass off!!!!

  19. Too bad your mom was probably blog surfing instead of watching live surveillance---she might've caught him right then and there! Too bad he didn't back into something other than your lawn!


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