Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Birthdays, brats and just for fun--a little bit of snow.

My sweet little baby girl turned two yesterday.  Having an older brother and sister she's been in the terrible two's for a good nine months now.  Always desperate to keep up and not one to be left behind she's the one we've rushed to the Emergency Room, picked up out of the ocean and nursed multiple head wounds.  

All because she's the one the other two use as a toy when they get bored.  They have, in no particular order:
  • Stuffed her in a blanket, rolled her up like a burrito and then flung her down the hallway to see how far she'd go.  In case any of you are wondering, two feet.    
  • Pushed her down the slide outside and watched to see how high she'd bounce when she hit bottom.  They were not happy with the initial bounce so they added items of various thickness to see if it would give her "loft" as Alex called it.  Beach towels gave the most height.  According to Alex, a plank of wood was no different than the ground.  Always good to know.
  • Tried to feed her regular milk and cheese to "see what would happen."  Gracie's lactose intolerant.  She puked.  
  • Climbed into her crib and tried to shoot her out of it by bouncing the hell out of it.  Then they tried to see if they could get the crib mattress to fit under the slide outside.  It apparently has some really good bouncing ability.
  • Painted her finger and toe nails "hooker red" and then proclaimed to the free world, "We have a hooker in the house!  We have a hooker here!"  Yeah, I'll own that.  That was all me.   

Generally speaking she's aged me faster than any of the other kids combined.  

Gracie multitasking.  Yeah, the penguin
back there is in time out.  

Happy Birthday little one.  Your mama loves you and the other two think you're way better than having a dog.  As Lizzy summed it up, "I like her cuz we don't have to walk her and clean up her poop.  You do all of that." 

Walmart style.  

On a totally unrelated note we had our first snowfall.

Dropping the kids off to school I slid down the street into oncoming traffic only to hear Lizzy exclaim, "Woooaaa!!  Woo Hoo!!!  Mom, that was great!!!  Can we do that again?!?"

And to hear Alex say, "Mom, did you realize you were in direct violation of about three safety rules?"  He never even bothered to look up from his I-touch.

Snow balls.
How can you not say that and get a giggle?
Go on, say it.

I took a picture of our snow after I damn near killed all of us and calmed my ass down.

That would have been around noon.

Note: I have to thank Tulpen for the use of the words, "snow balls."  She mentioned a prolific use of balls in her Christmas decorations this year and I believe in giving credit where credit's due.  She's over at Bad Words and I love her writing.   

And the cake was five dollars cheaper at Walmart than at Target.  I hauled my ass to Walmart and snapped that thing right up.  I even sported for the sugar letters instead of having Granny back in the bakery write on it.  Cuz seriously, who wants to tempt fate like that?    


  1. Awwww! Happy birthday to your baby! May your day be filled with great memories (the non-ER-invoking kind, of course)

  2. Did you look for syringes in the stuff you bought at Walmart? I heard that's the new thing. . . buy one, get a free syringe!

    Are you telling me there are no pictures of this "hooker red" experience floating around?

    Glad you and yours are safe and sound, post slide.

  3. You know I was an only child and I have an "only" child so all this - uh- love in the family thing - LMAO, from a distance... ;)

    Just NEED to know if that photo is of your Christmas tree after the snow with no windows in? Or did the window project finish up?

    Gracie is adorable! Happy belated birthday, little girl! I'm thinking she'll take her revenge when you all are decrepit and vulnerable! And btw, what's wrong with a little hooker red nail polish?

  4. omg last winter i slid onto someone's front yard. Tommy thought that was the FUNNIEST thing in the entire world!!!! ( i was trying to stop at the stop sign... FAIL!) Once i realized nobody saw us.. we high-tailed it out of there (dear people.. sorry about your lawn lol)

    Maybe this is why Tommy is so obsessed with us getting snow.. he's WAITING!!!

    Happy Birthday to your babygirl! XXXXX

  5. And you know the cake was cheaper at Walmart than at Target because Alex scanned it for you, right??

    Gracie is one tough chickie for surviving her siblings. I hope she goes easy on them when she's a little bigger and it's time for payback. And Lizzie's assesment of why she is better than a dog is the best thing I've read in weeks. I think that little darling takes after somebody. . . .

    And if anyone would violate three safety rules, it's you. That reminds me, I really need new tires.

    Happy Birthday, Gracie!!

  6. Grace said exactly what I was thinking... Did Alex red laser that cake??

    Hope Gracie had a great birthday.

    And that you have very uneventful car trips.....

  7. OMG your kids crack me up. Such a cute post.

  8. Oh, you have to love what the older siblings do to the baby of the family. It has made my youngest one tough little guy!

  9. hey! did you use your APP to find out where that cake was cheaper??? Hee hee

    Anyhoo, I did NOT enjoy the part about teeny girly being used as a toy. I almost couldn't read it--kind of like watching a scary movie.

  10. @M2LM--thanks!!!

    @Jim--no the windows are not done yet. I know you were dying to ask.

    @Karen--I know, hookers get all the fun. Windows not done yet....sigh.

    @Rhonda--I can just see you banking it into a yard. And trying to peel out of there!!!

    @Grace--haha! Yeah, I actually used the app and found it cheaper. I refuse to be stupider than my kid. Wait, I think I am already stupider. Oh well.

    @ACtB--thanks, I used the app. I feel like I'm at least in 2009 now.


    @Shell--thing is, she loves it when they play with her. Just love it!

    @Karen--don't worry, she wasn't hurt (no babies were hurt in the making of this post). She's usually the one starting things and she can hold her own. I think she's going to be the one to kill me!

  11. She must be one tough cookie! Happy Birthday to her. And for you? A little bit of Sunshine...I gave you that award today!

  12. 'slid down the street'

    And Alex did video the whole thing?

  13. oh... i did. Never went that route again hahaaa

  14. Hey lady, nice balls.

    Thank goodness you weren't all boozed up while driving around in the snow, because that would be dangerous. (you're boozed up right now, aren't you??)

    Happy birthday to the little hooker. I hope she enjoyed her Walmart cake (I can't believe how well it held up, coming all the way from China)!

  15. Happy Birthday Gracie :) She sounds great, but please, what's the story with the penguin in time out? Or are you saving that for the next blog post?

  16. Aren't older siblings awesome? I'd threaten them with the App and tell them you're looking where you can find nice kids cheaper. My youngest is going to be the death of me too.

  17. @Andrea--thanks!!! Muwwwah!

    @Mike--NO!! He was trying to beat me on Hanging w/Friends. That turd.

    @Rhonda--you crack me up, you really do. xxoo

    @Flan--why thank you. I like my balls. They look very nice, don't you think??? Little hooker, man you crack me up.

    @Looking for Blue Sky--she put it there!!! I guess she foreshadowed her own fate--see my next post!!!

    @Amanda--Ohhhh, I never thought of that!! That's better than Santa. I can use it YEAR ROUND!!!!


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