Friday, December 23, 2011

Ho, Ho, Ho.


Happy Holidays!!!

See why I cuss it out every year?  Go here and read about it.


Yes, our windows are still going in and that's just what things look like this year.  Please ignore it.  

I have one good day to wrap presents and I have to go and beat some sense into a child who's not listening because "Santa's watching" has totally lost its luster.  

The kids, they're all just like, "Fine, whatever.  I don't care if he is watching.  She started it."  

"Its MINE.  Give it back.  Mom.  Moooom!!!  Tell him to give it back."  

"OUCH.  Mom, she slapped me!  She full body listened with her hand.  That's not fair!!!" 

"But he took my wand.  I want my wand!"

"OUCH!!!"

"She full body listened with her hand again.  M-O-M!!!"

"WTF, a wand???  Really kids, all this over a wand???"  Note: I didn't really say WTF.  

"YES!"

They just don't care anymore.  It's cold outside.  We're inside.  There is no routine and we've done everything I had planned for them by 10:00 AM on day one.  Day one.  

I feel like I'm a caged animal at the zoo.  It's label reads, "American Family. We Aim Low."

Someone tell me again, why am I giving these kids presents???


In all seriousness, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and a Happy New Year.  

I'll be back after the New Year.  


And don't forget to go to Cheesy Bloggers and read about my Damn Tree.



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21 comments:

  1. KCFitchDecember 23, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    You remind me now to THANK GOD I only have ONE!

    Raising my glass to you, Lizbeth. May you come out on the other side in one piece!

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  2. jazzygalDecember 23, 2011 at 9:33 AM

    Yes, I'm thanking God I only have one too! We got school holidays yesterday and by last night I'd issued my usual warning; 'we need a serious chat in the morning.'re: getting off xbox etc! Sigh..

    Hopefully Santa pressies will be a distraction for all ;-)

    MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and your lovely family Lizbeth, from us Jazzys :-)

    xx Jazzy

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  3. AndreaDecember 23, 2011 at 9:37 AM

    Damn...now all I want is a wand! I forgot about the windows, so I could not figure out what kind of flair you had going on there as a backdrop! My kids are in school a full day today---that does not give me nearly enough time to employ them at very low wages before guests arrive at 2:00 tomorrow!
    Merry Christmas to you and yours!

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  4. GraceDecember 23, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    Damn. That IS some kinda tree. Not even the Abominable Snow Monster could reach the top of that thing. (I originally typed Abominable Snot Monster. . .good thing I proofed this comment before posting!!)

    There are some good things about having an only child. There are also some good things about being divorced. Like not having a man who shall remain nameless showing up with 14-foot trees. (It does look beautiful though. You did a great job decorating it, even if you did curse it into oblivion.)

    Merry Christmas my friend!! I hope Santa brings you a babysitter, or at least lots of booze.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Karen V.December 23, 2011 at 10:20 AM

    Ooh, fa la la!! Nice tree! Stupid Sam's Club! ;) it finally dawned on me - we're giving those presents in the hopes of getting our own Christmas break!! Here's to Bev Mo being open late!! Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! ( remember - it's much easier to take down than put up!) xoxo

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  6. AnonymousDecember 23, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    Good gracious that is a gorgeous tree. Merry Christmas- enjoy!

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  7. Deb at aspie in the familyDecember 23, 2011 at 1:48 PM

    Fantastic tree and happy christmas to you too. Deb

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  8. TMWHickmanDecember 23, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    Hahaha!!! I love your tree--totally worth all the cursing.

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  9. karensomethingorotherDecember 23, 2011 at 7:41 PM

    ah yes, that's how my two weeks will start TOMORROW!

    ReplyDelete
  10. AlongCameTheBirdDecember 23, 2011 at 11:01 PM

    Wow - a 14 foot tree, huh? That was 70% off? Did the money saved on the purchase of the tree equal the amount of money spent on ornaments to decorate the additional 6 feet of tree??

    It DOES look lovely, though...

    Merry Christmas, Lizbeth!

    And make sure you pass along my Christmas greetings to your window men.... after all that Thanksgiving turkey, I was pretty sure they'd stick around for Christmas. Maybe for some of those gluten-free peppermint patties you're famous for?? :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Stephs Two GirlsDecember 24, 2011 at 3:54 AM

    Love the tree. And I hope you got them some presents that are for you really (i.e. keep them occupied - playdoh, things without noise, bottle of wine....). Merry Christmas!! x

    ReplyDelete
  12. AmandaDecember 24, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    That is an awesome tree! Although I give you kudos for not actually saying "WTF?" because with the days we've been having, I've been measuring the day by what time I start saying "FFS."

    ReplyDelete
  13. StimeyDecember 24, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    Your tree is GORGEOUS. And that conversation, OMG, yes. "I don't care if he's watching, she started it." You have perfectly described December 21-24.

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  14. dluvscokeDecember 24, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    Well...your 14 foot "fucking" Christmas tree IS beautiful. Does that make you feel any better?...probably not ;)

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  15. AiringMyLaundryDecember 25, 2011 at 3:45 PM

    That tree is so pretty!

    Merry Christmas!

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  16. UnknownDecember 26, 2011 at 12:57 PM

    Hahaha! Well, the tree does look good! Merry Christmas!

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  17. MikeDecember 26, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    Did you hear about Santa being arrested? He called this girl a ho three times in a row.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousDecember 27, 2011 at 10:57 AM

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you to!
    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousDecember 29, 2011 at 6:59 AM

    "Full body listened with her hand" is my new favorite saying. I LOVE THIS!

    A belated Merry Christmas and an early Happy New Year to you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousDecember 30, 2011 at 7:24 AM

    Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! The tree looks beautiful!! I didn't even notice the windows until I read further down and had to scroll back up to get a second look. Hope you guys have a great time!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Looking for Blue SkyDecember 31, 2011 at 3:18 AM

    How did I miss this post and your fabulous tree (and who puts the star on top?) I hope you had a lovely Christmas and enjoy New Year xx

    ReplyDelete

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