Friday, February 24, 2012

Tamiflu, get yours while its hot.

This will be my last post on The Sick.  Lizzy shared the disease with Gracie and the very next day my rump was back at the Pediatrician's office.  Apparently you get bumped all the way to the front of the cue really fast when you call and tell them the baby has a sustained temp over 103 and she's really sleepy.  Lord, they just tell you to come on in, STAT.


Yeah, it did cross my mind that that little nugget would have been helpful to know yesterday when we were living my worst nightmare.


Anyway, we dropped everything and marched in there, in full glory.  That consisted of my unshowered, unshaved, undeordized and puked on, pajamaed ass carrying a Rubbermaid.  Lizzy was in Disney princess pajamas and the baby was delirious in only a diaper.


Gracie-3, Mom-0.


I don't know if I mentioned this but where we live, in South Johnson County, it's the most stuck-up, prudish, money-centered, my husband makes more than your husband, place I've ever lived.


You guys know that's just not me.


I tell you that, to tell you this: Those bitches parted like the Red Sea when we walked in that doctor's office.  Our dirty contaminated asses were sniffed out as soon as we hit the door handle and my God, the look of horror on those women's faces were priceless.  A few even got up and moved out of our way so they didn't get a sent of our disease.  One dove in her purse for hand sanitizer and damn near bathed her kids in it.  


Call me Moses.  


After all that, we were seen and both girls tested positive for the flu.  My first comment was, "WTF?  We had flu shots and wait, why was Lizzy not tested yesterday when we were here?"


Crickets.


Suffice it to say I've bleached the hell out of the house and have never really put the Clorox down.  I knew it was all over when I saw Gracie eating lunch out of the same bowl as Lizzy and later there was a direct sneeze in her face.  For the curious, direct inoculation like that has about a twenty hour incubation period.  


At that point, all the bleach in the world wasn't going to help my cause.




Let's just say Tamiful is my new BFF, we practically have a "X" on our door and I'll not put the bleach down till we're all over The Sick in this house.  


I don't care if my hands have been reduced to bloody stumps.  I don't want to see Alex sick with this.  And the world will stop spinning on its axis if He Who shall Not Be Named got it.  I cannot let that happen.  For my sanity, it cannot happen.  


I'll dip them both in bleach nightly if I have to because they have to stay healthy.  


Now can someone be a good neighbor and get me some more bleach?  My stash is running low.  


I know beggars can't be choosers but I really like the Fresh Meadow scent Clorox has on the market right now.  

40 comments:

  1. good lord, you're having a rough go of it.

    104 got us a trip to the hospital, a spinal tap and a meningitis test for Lily when she was 19 days old. No doubt 103 and lethargic tweaks them out. did they have you start feeding pepsi through a syringe yet?

    Tamiflu huh? never even HEARD of it. And I thought flu medicine had been poo-pooed out of existence by peds. Maybe that's cold medicine. It is, isn't it?

    Anyway. . . GET WELL SOON!

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    1. That would have freaked me out taking a 19 day old to the ER! Tamiflu is used as a preventative as well as to shorten flu symptoms. I can't say if it works all that well since the hubs is taking it and went down a few days ago!

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  2. It's the worst when little ones get sick. You just want to be sick for them, but you just have to ride it out. 103 would be pretty scarry. My son's been hospitalised with Asthma before, but not in years. I hope everyone gets better soon.

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  3. Lizbeth, you KNOW if I were there, I would bring you a case of bleach. Oh man...would Alex ever consider wearing a face mask? Yeah, what am I thinking. I hate germs. I hate them so hard.

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    1. I swear, we were birthed from the same mother.

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  4. I feel like I need another shower now.

    Hey, have you tried that Clorox "Anywhere" hard surface daily sanitizing spray? It has an obnoxiously long name, but I like it because it's safe to spray around kids and pets (not sure about crabs).

    Also, I think you have a stalker.

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    1. I'm a horrible mom and have been bleaching everything including their hands. And stalker?!?

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  5. Awww.... I would soooo bring you bleach - except I'm using it all here ;-)

    Your pediatrician is a lot more tolerant than ours - we'd be on our way to the ER (we've actually been refused an appointment when LM was as sick as Gracie)

    I hope this all passes quickly and no one else falls to The Sick - especialy not the mama! Hang in there!

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    1. I saw Little Miss was sick too . I hope she's feeling better!!!

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  6. Hey Moses, I have been calling myself White Trash With Money all week because I just got my tax refund. But I haven't gone out in public in puke-encrusted pajamas, so who's the white trash here really?? Bwahahahaha!!! Did you stop at Wal-Mart on the way home?? No one would have even noticed you there.

    Beware of bleach burns, and I hope to goddess your daughters stop throwing up soon. If they don't, perhaps you could take them on a tour of the snobby neighborhoods and let them sneeze on people's doorknobs. You know, share the love.

    Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.

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    1. Damn it, Walmart---a place I could belong. I bet I was still better dressed than half of the people there. Thanks---I think the girls are on the mend.

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  7. Gosh, you're not having an easy time of it. Hope it all passes soon.

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  8. Whoa...I would have paid good money to see the look on those moms!

    But it does suck when the kids are sick. :(
    Hope they feel better soon and I PRAY that it does not spread...

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    1. The Hubs was stricken. God help us all...

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  9. NIGHTMARE. That sucks so bad. I hope things start looking up. So sorry.

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  10. I'll bet your house smells like the swimming pool at the YMCA.

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    1. OMG, that was good. It's like that but worse. I probably should do a chlorine and pH test...

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  11. Aww, Gracie is a doll, sick or not!! Parting of the bitches! LOVE! Btw, I am, by nature, lazy. Just reading all your bleaching makes me feel, not just lazy, but guilty. So, I hunted up this story that is my attempt to assuage both my guilt and my lazy - http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/features/killing-flu-germs-what-works Yes, those germs can last on hard surfaces but it's much more likely that flu will be transmitted by that sneeze or touch of an infected person. Now, have the one who remains nameless watch them while you go get a manicure! And if Alex is hangin' by himself? He'll be safer that way. :)

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    1. Yeah, Lizzy sneezed in Gracie's face and I just gave up right then. I could almost see those germs go in her mouth...

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  12. Oh no, I'm so sorry your little ones are going through this. It's almost impossible to keep others healthy when a little one gets sick.

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  13. If I lived closer, I'd bring you bleach and alcohol. Not alcohol for cleaning, but for drinking.

    I know those kind of women you are talking about. We're crawling with them in the area I live in. My kids stick out like sore thumbs in their Wal-Mart clothes and cartoon character tennis shoes.

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    1. Ohhh Allie, you crack me up! I would have kissed you for alcohol but probably transmitted the flu!!! My kids have all walmart and target attire....they chew the sleeves too fast to buy the good stuff and I'm too cheap!!!

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  14. When I was a kid, my dr's office had a sick and a well child waiting room that were separate...but I think they might've used the same exam rooms. At least one of those women yet in your wake is probably petitioning for such right now...and I hope she hurls on here list of signatures! I a so sorry that you have such sickness in your home, but the image of those scaredy women is cracking me right up!

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    1. We have that too!!!! I had to walk thru the "well" side to the exam room. And the sea parted.....

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  15. I would have pretend sneezed on those women. I would also cackle maniacally, just to add extra oomph to those snobs. That is how I roll these days. Maybe your husband could spring for another vacation?

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    1. I would put out like a bunny for a vacation....

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  16. Oh god! We have only had the flu a few times in our house and it has never been pretty. Right now we are battling weekly bouts of 24 hour stomach bug. Totally stinks! Good luck. I hope everyone feels better soon!

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    1. The stomach bug is a pretty close second. That's the only thing we've not had----yet.

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  17. Good grief, Lizbeth. Enough is enough. Maybe there's no flu in Sanibel??? Another trip might be in order VERY soon...

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  18. I don't know if I mentioned this but where we live, in South Johnson County, it's the most stuck-up, prudish, money-centered, my husband makes more than your husband, place I've ever lived.

    ME TOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I fit in my neighborhood like a sore thumb lol I can't wait for the day a black family moves in.. im sure all the houses will go up for sale lol

    MAN OH MAN you're in flu HELL!! I'm keeping you guys in my thoughts.. if you lived closer, i'd gladly leave you bleach on your doorstep! lol (((hugs))

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    1. Thanks Rhonda---I'm hugging right back. And this way there are no germs.

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  19. All this illness in your house is giving me flashbacks to the year the boys and I averaged a trip to the family doc once every 3 days for about 6 weeks. Yes, average. Some days we were there multiple days in a row.

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  20. oh no darling Liz .. what a nightmare
    And you still manage to make us laugh as you make your way through it

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  21. How awful that illness continues in your house....but I would SO love to have seen your Moses act!!

    Hope all better soon at yours...

    xx Jazzy

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  22. Lordy Moses. I know what you mean about Alex. I, too, will go to extremes to prevent Cody from getting sick. I wish you the best and will think bad thoughts toward all your uppity neighbors. :)

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    1. And you made me laugh!!! And yes, we are like sisters separated at birth!

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