Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Even porn sites have QR codes. Who knew???

So remember how I mentioned that Alex likes to scan bar codes for fun?  Well it's morphed into something better.  We're now scanning QR codes.  Yeah, I didn't know what one was either.  After I asked Alex I still had no idea so I Googled it.  And then I had Alex explain it to me again.  And again.  And then I gave up went to bed and tried again in the morning.

After several cups of coffee, I found out all about QR codes.  A Quick Response code is a type of bar code.  Go to Wikipedia and read all about it here.

Here's what one looks like.  As a homage to my son, I made one and have it on my sidebar over there.  You get the RedLaser App and then take your i-phone and scan the QR code.  Both of these QR codes are a direct link to my blog so it takes you right there.  Cool, eh?  Now you can read me anywhere.

RedLaser, I should be getting paid for this.  

No reading me in the toilet.  The crapper's off limits.  I strictly forbid it.

So basically my kid's now scanning updated bar codes for fun.

He downloaded the RedLaser App for having a good OT visit.  Yes, I bribe my child.  I'm good like that.  We have a system.  He has a good session and he gets to download a free App.  Bad session, no App.

This was from Sunday's paper, Walmart ad.

Then we had the Thanksgiving holiday and a little time went by and Alex sent a QR code to my phone.  It was to Kink.com.  Now, I very intentionally DID NOT link that site because there is one teensey-tiny little problem with Kink.com.

Kink is a man-on-man porn site.

My kid sent me porn.  After I gasped and, lets be real here folks--looked at a few, I put on my mom panties and asked him what in the hell he'd just sent me.

"Uncle Jim sent me the link to go to Kinko's.  He wanted me to find out how much a ream of paper costs."

"So, um, did you find out how much a ream of paper costs?"

"What?"

"Eyes.  Alex, I need your eyeballs up here on my face when I'm talking.  Good.  Did you find out how much a ream of paper costs?"

"No.  I sent it to you so you could look it up.  I'm too busy, I'm looking up some new Apps."

A private moment here to thank the Sweet Baby Jesus for my small fortune that my son did not get eye-raped by viewing man-on-man porn.

"So, while we're talking about QR codes here, who else did you send that to?

"Dad's whole family."

A private moment to take back all my thanks to the Baby Jesus.

My kid sent my husband's family porn.  Hardcore, man on man, porn.

Are you crapping your pants now?  Cuz I was.

Suffice it to say we've had "the talk" about what can be sent, and what can not be sent, via the i-Touch.  Bottom line, in our house we now check everything he sends out and he checks his e-mail with either my husband or myself.  And we have parental locked his i-Touch so his on-line experience is limited at best.

And my husband made the call to his brother to ask what on God's green earth he had sent our to son.  Turns out he missed a letter in the web address and it all went horribly wrong from there.

And that is the true story of one thing that happened over the past few weeks before I threw the damn thing on the floor and broke it.  And even though this originated from Uncle Jim, I'm the one in the family who looks like the dirty girl who can't keep the kids off porn.

Good thing I'm writing this down for prosperity's sake.  Someday I'm going to look back on this and laugh.

I'm not laughing yet.

Still not laughing.

Yeah, still not laughing.


I'm over at SPD Blogger Network today talking about Alex's classroom desk.  Go, go, go!

40 comments:

  1. I'm sorry Lizbeth, but I'm laughing for you.
    OMG.

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    1. As b=long as you're not laughing AT me!!!

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  2. Uncle JIM!!!

    But wait - who called Dad's side of the family called about the code? Anyone? You say you talked to Uncle Jim but who talked to the rest of the family? Did you send a card? "Dear Hub's Family, After our lovely holiday together, I thought I'd send a parting gift to each of you..." Kinda like that, right?

    And Thanks! I wanted to be a nerd too - so I've now downloaded a QR for my blog! And I checked yours to make sure you did not post the "wrong" one... ;)

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    1. The funny thing is, the first one I had posted over there was a QR code to Dairy Queen!!! Hubs called his family and then had his brother call everyone as well. I was not going to be nailed for that one.....

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  3. This is another reason why I will never get a cell phone.

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    1. You are probably the smartest one out of the whole bunch, you know that right???

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  4. I saw you were big timin' it on SPD this morning. But I read that one!

    I still don't understand QR codes. In order for me to GET your QR code, I have to be on your site. If I'm already on your site, what good is having the QR code to link to your site going to do me???

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    1. You're supposed to put the QR codes for your site on your business cards. Come on, Jim... get with the program! ;-)

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    2. See. . . clearly I'm not explaining this right.

      I don't HAVE business cards from Lizbeth, but I DO see that she's posted her QR code ON HER SITE. And when I use my phone to scan it. . . it just takes me to her site, where I scanned the code. . .

      ;-)

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    3. No, no, no, I get what you're saying. You're thinking too hard on this one. See, its redundant technology. You don't really need a QR code at all. I put mine over there because I think my kid kicks ass, you know, aside from sharing porn bit.

      Other people can use it from the blog--if you print it out or if it's on your phone. They can scan it and then get to my blog and not have to type in any web address. That's about the only other reason to have it. And because it looks cool. And I'm cool. Don't you want to be cool?

      PS--later we're all going to go jumping of a bridge or something cool like that too. You in???

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    4. Ok... So where do I get a QR code? And can you send me a QR code with the Google maps coordinates for that bridge you mentioned? ;-)

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    5. Go to RedLaser and you can make a QR code for your site. And let's have drinks on that bridge, huh???

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  5. Did you mother-in-law get the link for the hardcore man-on-man action? Because that would just be awesomeness. Pure awesomeness.

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    1. Yes, and while I'm not going right to Hell for that, I most certainly earned a spot when I cackled like a hyena when I found out.

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  6. I have sooo had that problem when looking up the site for Dick's sporting goods (for future reference, it is NOT dicks.com). Honest mistake... REALLY!

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    1. OMG, Karla!!!!!!! I'm not buying it. I bet you really were looking for some "sporting goods."

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  7. This has to be the most exciting typo ever. Thanks for telling us what the site was rather quickly. I almost googled it. I would not have 'looked at a few'. I would have been washing my eyes out with acid. Girls are lucky they can look at girl or guy porn. No I did not go see Blazing Saddles or what ever that movie was.

    And I thought everyone would have looked up and memorized QR code info by now.

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    1. Blazing Saddles....I must go look this up. My computer's been violated with Kink already.

      Washing eyes with acid---that's good.

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  8. Oh dear! Is he silver lining that it all started with your mother-in-law's son at least? Thank you for the crash coursein those QR thigamabobs! I saw them referred to in a blog yesterday and had top google it just to know they were talking about those code things...you are very high tech!

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    1. That IS the silver lining. I keep having to tell my husband to tell her that.

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  9. LOL!

    I only scan those things if I can potentially win something.

    So far, I haven't. Boo.

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  10. Oh sorry but I am SO laughing!!! I needed cheering up, so thanks :) now, if only someone could work out a way to put a parental lock on youtube I'd be a lot happier myself....

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    1. No kidding, my kids are watching this one where Charlie hit his brother and I'm ready to beat the shit out of little Charlie. I'm hating YouTube right now....

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  11. Hey there pretty lady. Sounds like your past couple weeks have been a bit like mine. Found out yesterday Will has been spitting out his morning med. And we had been to hell and back trying to figure out what had been working so beautifully had gone so horribly wrong. I'm crushing his meds again and doing a tongue check. Aargh.

    In other news, and I realize this isn't the best place to post this probably but since you know about life with ASD monkeys and technology I would like to ask for a request. Could you please go to http://www.giveforward.com/livingandlearningwithanipad and consider making a small donation. If that isn't in the budget, and believe me I completely understand, would you consider sharing it on Facebook? I would really appreciate it. Kay, that's all. Love and miss you!

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    1. That cheeky little monkey!!! Hiding his med. I will go there. I want to send something to you directly if that's ok. Anyone else out here, go check Jess out. She knows what she's doing and I support what she is doing 100%. When I talk about he teacher who first helped me with Alex---she's it. She knows her stuff and if I could give you an I-Pad I would.

      Hugs and love--L

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    2. You are too sweet. Directly is good. And thanks for the kudos. He was and will always be one of my favorites. If teachers had favorites, that is :)

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  12. Sorry Lizbeth...but I can't help it...I'm laughing!! Just as well he's just interested in the code itself and is too busy App hunting...hilarious"!!

    xx Jazzy

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    1. That was my intent, if we can't laugh at this then I think I'd be dead a long time ago. It helps knowing I'm not the only one with this kind of thing going on. Well, other people may not have my kind of crazy but you get what I mean.

      xxoo

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  13. My comment about Blazing Saddles (an old Mel Brooks movie) was a round about 'play on movies' about Brokeback Mountain.

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  14. Lizbeth... I'm laughting it's my second tea spitting out incident today! But I am laughing for you...

    On the Ipad I took YouTube off, in the restrictions... Oatie was miffed for a good long while!!!

    Just tell them all the link was compliments of Uncle Jim... LOL!

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  15. Good night nurse! I bet that was the most interesting thing that happened to your extended family in quite some time! I'm happy to hear Alex was too busy to give the site a look - that would not be a conversation I'd want to have anytime soon!

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    1. GOOD NIGHT NURSE! Sorry--I had to jump on this reply, because I love that expression and haven't heard it in a long time! That made me happy.

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  16. OH MY GOD LIZBETH...that is a great, and horrifying story. Great, but truly horrifying.

    Hey, did Alex get furious at you for even intimating he did something wrong and should not send random stuff out to people anymore, because Jack would have been angry at me even as I tried to explain it rationally. Then he would have asked me ENDLESSLY WHAT it was that he had sent out, and would not be satisfied with; "it's something that's not good for kids."

    OH man, I have a headache on your behalf.

    However, you made that code thing make sense to me now. A bloggy friend, who is super tech savvy, had a post about one ages ago and why we should all get one, but I did not get it. I chalked it up to "technology we'd all reach one day whether I liked it or not."

    So, thanks for that. Now I want one too!

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    1. He didn't get mad & I thought he would....we just told him about things he should and should not be sending out via email or computer. He took it as fact and we didn't press or try to explain too much. I totally scaped by on that one!

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  17. Oh noooo! I'm laughing. Sorry. That is too funny. I've never heard of those bar code thingies.

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    1. Hiya!!! Now you totally have to get one. Or not. I still know how to follow people back! Must go and visit you now!

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  18. Hey I laughed even louder at the comments, sorry! Xx

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  19. I laughed at the thought of MY family experiencing the joy of porn sent via iPad. Is that okay? Because I have a lot of nuns in my tree, and that is where my mind immediately traveled.

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Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.