Monday, August 20, 2012

The wedding that was.....

So we made it back from the wedding up in North Dakota relatively unscathed.  And by that I mean we're all alive.  We made it back home and I was never so glad to be back in our house.  Not to say we didn't have fun, we did.  There is just a unique sort of hell that goes along with being trapped in your own car upwards of eleven hours, two times, that makes you want to crawl out of your own skin.

Things that may, or may not, have happened:
  • We had a flat tire smack in the middle of Iowa.  I take that back, I really don't know where we were.  All I know is, we had to drive back to get to a Toyota dealership to replace our Dunlop no-flat tire.  The irony didn't get past me on that one.
"MOM!  They have rules at the rest area!"

  • We may have trashed the waiting room of a certain Toyota Dealership.  I tried to clean up as best as I could but they had a popcorn machine.  It was a no-win situation. 
  • The kids may have felt-up all the taxidermy bears, deer, turkey and ducks at my friends house.  Her husband may have started a new nervous twitch when he saw Lizzy stroking a fur backwards and named a duck Sparkle.
  • I may have had a drink too many after we lost the baby at the rehearsal party and it may have happened about the same time Alex was puking off the side of the pool and it may have happened the exact same time Lizzy got her toe stuck in the base of a table. 
  • I may, or may not, have said, "Lizzy stay here while I go find your sister.  Wait, you can't move, your toe's stuck.  Well, small blessings."  
  • Lizzy may or may not have screamed so loud you could hear her in Canada.
  • When we found the baby she was out in front, with the smokers, trying to borrow a lighter.  Alex may, or may not have, proceeded to question them about their choice to smoke and he may, or may not have, pulled up an image of a  "smokers lung" from his i -Touch...
  • Lizzy may have sat through part of the wedding sobbing because her, "vagina hurt."  Turns out it was not her vagina, it was her underpants crimping her style.  
These make me giggle every time we pass one
and if you don't get it, I'm not telling

  • Alex may have read off every single exit on the map and we may have stopped at every rest area so he could get a new map and not miss a thing.  I may have stopped listening somewhere outside of Kansas City.   
  • We may have had approximately fourteen fast food meals in a little under four days.  The teenagers at Long John Silver's may have wanted to kill our kids for ringing their bell over 3,000 times.  
  • And we may, or may not, have had Juano's Mexican food over three times while in Fargo because it's Alex's favorite.  I may, or may not have, spent more time than I would care to admit on the toilet. 
  • We may, or may not, have had a great time seeing old friends and thinking about old times.
Kids saying goodbye. 

Don't get me wrong, we had a blast.  The kids had fun, we were exhausted and I swear I think I aged several years when the baby went missing.  So that was our weekend that was, up in North Dakota.

While it's good to be home, I miss my old friends.


34 comments:

  1. Underwear issues are pretty rough. We have a friend who realized when she sat n the pew at my cousin's wedding that. She forgot to put underwear on...with here very short dress. I think the groom's family was impressed and inspired...Lizzy is in good company! All that driving and all that Mexican food...yikes!

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    1. I have to say I find underwear issues are the most humorous!

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    2. OMG, that beats our issue any day!

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  2. I don't know about you, but I hope all of my friends are married because that's about how our wedding stories go too.

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  3. Aside from the baby missing, I'm not sure which part is the worst. Maybe the panties. Poor kid.

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  4. *giggle* ....."Kum & Go" *giggle, snort*

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  5. I can relate..including the losing the baby part. (We lost our youngest at a picnic at a park and found him begging some boy scouts for a hot dog and watermelon. Seriously.)

    "Kum & Go"?! For realz?!!!! Bwaahhhaa-haa.

    Sorry you miss your friends. :(

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  6. Wow! 11 hours in the car one way with 3 kids and you survived! I can barely handle 4 hours in a car with no kids.

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  7. Oh come on! You photoshopped that sign!!! I cannot believe it!! And I though In-n-out Burgers was bad!! Haha!

    Glad you found the baby bumming a lighter. Natch. I never thought I would read about a painful vagina in my rounds but if I did? I knew it would be here. ;)

    The kids look so clean and cute in white!! You made it! Glad you're home.

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    1. Totally NOT photoshopped. I remember when we first moved up north I asked our realtor about it and he didn't get my joke about wanting to get a "Fill Up."

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  8. 11 hours in the car... I can't even. We try to avoid anything over 2-3 hours, and I only have one kiddo! Eek.

    Kum & Go? Hahahaha.

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  9. Yep, I get it. .we are beginning a long a far venture ourselves.. leaving NJ and driving to Florida... LOL... ah yes, let the adventure begins. .My kid, has already mentioned " goin' on vacation" at warp speed nonstop.. for a few days. .Woke his daddy up at 5;30am screaming such in his ear.. the response.. "4 days, 4 days".. then it all starts again.. and we will be gone for about 2 weeks. .

    I love your blog,
    Julie

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Julie and God go with you. If you're anything like us, you'll need it.

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  10. Great post! I got a couple of giggles out of it!

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  11. Long car trips are horrible even when everything does go according to plan, but a flat tire that is not supposed to go flat? I would have cussed a blue streak. I am glad that the baby wasn't missing for long!

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    1. Yeah, I made sure the kids were watching a DVD and let it rip.

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  12. Tell Alex that he can go online and get a tourist book and a state map from most states.

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    Replies
    1. No, no I won't. (You can't make me.)

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  13. Good god, your family visiting is like having the Hell's Angels roll into town.

    Good times, sister, good times. Also, maybe your friend will send you some nice taxidermied gifts for the holidays. That would be a nice addition to your family.

    Glad you're back, mostly in one piece!

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    1. I know, right? Any coincidence Sturgis was that same weekend? I think not.

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  14. I actually have a t-shirt from Kum & Go.....it says:

    Kum & Go

    We go all out

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  15. While I look forward to certain events, some I just want to get through. This would've been one of those for me... Glad to have you all back in one piece! :)

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    1. The drives killed us, the rest was good. I don't want to do that drive. Ever.

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  16. Thanks for the chuckle. I am sure that there were lots of trials and tribulations but at least you took it in your stride.... and wrote a funny post! :)

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  17. Hahaha

    I'm trying to figure out how a toe gets stuck in the base of a table? :)

    And, seriously, is that a gas station chain or just an individual business? Holy shit. The employees there must be numb or naive. Can you even imagine...

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    1. I don't know, I think she just shoved it between two pieces of metal. And that seriously is a real gas station chain. I know, right?!?

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  18. Kum and Go. Sheesh. What were they thinking? Love pulling up the pic of the smoker's lung. I'm so happy you made it through, Lizbeth. Summer here has truly been sucking.

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  19. darling sounds SOOOO adventurous
    Loved the pix and yuor blog is such a fun read as always

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  20. Eleven hours in a car? I would've started smoking again..

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  21. At least you only lost one of the kids. That's bonus points for you, as far as I'm concerned.

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