Monday, August 1, 2011

I'm sick of our pool so I cheated. I'm a pool cheater.

So we went to another pool last week.  I shoved them all in the car and off we went.  It's been so hot here and after a while there is only so much you can do at your own pool besides burn the bottom of your feet screaming, "Ouch, Ouch, Ouch!" till you can get to your chair and put your flip-flops on.

Since we moved to Kansas two years ago we've come to find out that every neighborhood has their own pool.  Upkeep is built into the association dues and they are so outrageous I've been determined that by God we're going to use that damn pool till I feel our rates are justified.

So we've been there every day our schedule allows.

I guess neighborhood pools keep the homicide rate down.  I don't know.  I've never seen so many pools till I moved here.  Either way, our pool is within walking distance of our house so its easy for us to spend a lot of time there.  But we've spent so much time there the kids are sick of it.

And going to this other pool was like we were cheating on our own pool.  And to be frank, I want to start a love affair with this one.  A dirty piece of work that would be but this thing was HOT.  It had cool water dumping things, life guards, more water dumping things with wheels and tons of other things.  Did I mention life guards?!?  And there was another little pool that was nothing but water and only went to four feet deep.  Then there was a wave pool specifically designed for tots.  There was a water slide as well.

See, it was a thing of beauty.  Worthy of my love.

This new pool shits all over our pool.  Look at that thing.  Our pool is a basic hole in the ground with a baby hole off to the side.  I'm embarrassed to show you pictures.  But this thing?  This thing??  A thing of beauty.  Pictures do not do it justice.  

Again, worthy of my love.

But since it costs $36 admission for the day, plus food, drinks and snacks which was about another $36, it was a one shot deal.  I don't care how swank this thing is/was I'm not going broke over a pool.

Coolest pool ever.  

And the kids loved it.

I about crapped my pants several times loosing them in the water structures, having visions of them floating top-side before I could get to them.  Nothing like that happened of course but I guess that's precisely why it didn't.  I can't imagine bringing my kids to the pool and even thinking of:

  1. sitting down  
  2. enjoying a good book
  3. texting till my fingers were numb
All of which were things I saw parents doing while their children were reenacting the Lord of the Flies.  I don't get it.  

Grandma and Gracie, far right.  Her lady bush
was tucked in.  I checked.

Alex loved it.  It had this big pot at the top that emptied every 2 minutes and dumped out water.  I know this as a fact.  I know because we timed it.  A squillion times.  We then took the average of the dump times and rounded it out.  Blamo, two minutes.  Alex was not pleased with the lack of precision associated with rounding numbers but I suppose he is correct.  Rounding out numbers is quite useless.  

My favorite part?  Zero entry.  And misters at the water's edge.  Misters.  They had misters.  So your little feet didn't get all hot and burnt.  Swoon.   

This was the best part for Alex.
Waiting for the pot to empty with his swim instructor.  

While I was taking this picture I had several thoughts running through my mind but one thing outweighed them all.  And it was this: all his stims, quirks, stress/anxiety related motions, articulations and tics are non-existent right now.  Sure, we have a few bumps and last night really tanked but nothing like during the school year.  

He's relaxed.  

He's happy.  

He's having the time of his life.

And I want to take this time, stop the clock, and make it last forever.       


  1. Oh, man. First off, I have MAJOR pool envy. Seriously. You can take that shit to the bank. A cooler pool I have never seen. Unfortunately, the price is in direct proportion to e coolness (keeping with your math theme, how about you solve for the coolness coefficient?).

    Also, the fact that you call out your mom's carpet - repeatedly - makes me wish I knew you IRL, cause we could be besties FOREVER.

    Love, love this post!

  2. Good grief that is one helluva pool. I am so happy to hear the bush was well under control this time. ;)

  3. Just by looking at those pictures, I'm pretty sure I heard the Little Mermaid singing. I've never seen anything so glorious.

  4. I hear ya about getting your money's worth for your association fees. Sadly, I lack your dedication and follow through on this concept. I've been to my pool once. Once. The people at my pool really get on my nerves, and they don't even wear Spanx.

    I'm glad you had your happy moment watching Alex. Those moments are so important. XO

  5. Yeah, that's probably the best pool I've seen. Definitely worth cheating on the home pool for.

  6. "Her lady bush
    was tucked in. I checked"

    Totally just spit milk out laughing hahaha! That's quite the pool!!! SWEET that its in walking distance!

  7. That place looks like bliss rolled in happiness sprinkled with laughter.

  8. Oh my heck, you kill me! Your mother is going to be mortified if she EVER reads your blog, which you say she doesn't, but you never know. It could happen. :)

    That is one amazing pool. I was going to ask you if you "snuck in" or what, but then you answered the question. I guess it was on my mind since my daughter and her friends went pool hopping in Las Vegas last Caesar's Palace, no less. Good times!

  9. I think I might need to move to Kansas!

  10. HUGE pool envy

    what a great day , Love when you can have a drama free day

  11. Oh my gosh, when I first saw the pic I thought it was a joke/exaggeration. I wish we lived in Kansas; Sam would be in heaven!

    I'm so happy that Alex is having fun and totally hear you about stopping the clock..

    And so relieved to hear your reassuring news about Grandma.

  12. I'd say that the 36 bucks was well spent!

  13. That is beyond awesome. The pool, not Nanna's bush.

  14. That pool ROCKS!! We have a decent pool about a mile away, not as cool as this one, but decent. But I have the same problem, I don't dream of sitting down or amusing myself in some way that doesn't involve following my child every single moment. Even with the lifeguards.

    I'm so glad Alex is having fun and relaxing. These babies need stress-free time, school is so hard on them...not just the work, but the social aspect.

    Goddamn it, I need a summer vacation....

  15. On the bright side, you have a new tool in your little black book of bribery, now don't you? ;-)

  16. Ok, that is one kick-ass pool! And I so relate to that feeling of wondering if you'll see your kid floating face down...doesn't stop me from reading my book, mind you, but I do get the occasional heart palpitations when I haven't seeen the youngest for 30-40 minutes.
    As for your son, I hope maybe this stress-free summer will be the start of a new phase of his life. Maybe he'll carry this care free attitude into the next scholastic year? Here's hoping!

  17. Wow, that pool looks AWESOME!!! My boys would love that.

    Ours is just a regular ol' hole in the ground.

  18. all his stims, quirks, stress/anxiety related motions, articulations and tics are non-existent right now... He's having the time of his life.
    And I want to take this time, stop the clock, and make it last forever.

    I can relate to this really bad. I'm glad you are all having so much fun. :)

  19. Oh, at this stage I wanna move country! Every neighboorhood has their own pool?? Sigh...

    That is one cool pool well worth the admission fees. There's one just like it that we've been too... in Spain! It's in Porta Ventura theme park. We were there when WiiBoy was younger..and I didn't take my eyes off him for a minute!! I can do that now though.. but not then.

    xx Jazzy


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