Nipple rings. That should get your attention.

I made this grocery list the other day.  I keep it on the counter in my pantry and as we run out of things I add to the list.  See, I've given up a long time ago on trying to remember things and I'm just old enough that every time I try to make a list on my phone I wind up loosing the phone or leaving it in the pantry and then I have to walk all the way back in the frigging house to get it.  So I stick with the paper and pencil kind of list.

Go on, read it.  I'll wait.

Aside from my horrible handwriting I didn't see anything wrong with it.

My husband came home the other night and goes into the pantry.  He comes out, stops dead in his tracks and goes back in.

I'm wrangling the kids and don't think anything of it.

He comes back out waving the list.  "Um hon, anything we need to discuss?  Anything you want to tell me?"

I'm completely clueless and like, "Yeah, unless you can tell me this kitchen's going to clean itself then I've got nothing."   "What's up?"

He's still waving the list, "I"m just curious, what are nipple ring things and where do you plan on getting them?!?"

"What?!? What are you talking about???"  I ask horrified.

Then it dawned on me.  The list.

See???

Get your mind out of the gutter people.  They're the plastic yellow rings for Gracie's bottles that hold them together.  She's got this nasty habit of throwing her bottles and they break.  I'm down to our last two.

If you need this particular kind of nipple ring, they sell them at Target.  WalMart doesn't stock Medela.

And no, that's not a picture of my breast milk in there. Ewww.  It's soy.  The little turd has a milk allergy.

Just what kind of nipple rings were you expecting anyway???