Friday, May 20, 2011

Nipple rings. That should get your attention.

I made this grocery list the other day.  I keep it on the counter in my pantry and as we run out of things I add to the list.  See, I've given up a long time ago on trying to remember things and I'm just old enough that every time I try to make a list on my phone I wind up loosing the phone or leaving it in the pantry and then I have to walk all the way back in the frigging house to get it.  So I stick with the paper and pencil kind of list.

Go on, read it.  I'll wait.

Aside from my horrible handwriting I didn't see anything wrong with it.

My husband came home the other night and goes into the pantry.  He comes out, stops dead in his tracks and goes back in.

I'm wrangling the kids and don't think anything of it.

He comes back out waving the list.  "Um hon, anything we need to discuss?  Anything you want to tell me?"

I'm completely clueless and like, "Yeah, unless you can tell me this kitchen's going to clean itself then I've got nothing."   "What's up?"

He's still waving the list, "I"m just curious, what are nipple ring things and where do you plan on getting them?!?"

"What?!? What are you talking about???"  I ask horrified.

Then it dawned on me.  The list.


Get your mind out of the gutter people.  They're the plastic yellow rings for Gracie's bottles that hold them together.  She's got this nasty habit of throwing her bottles and they break.  I'm down to our last two.

If you need this particular kind of nipple ring, they sell them at Target.  WalMart doesn't stock Medela.

And no, that's not a picture of my breast milk in there. Ewww.  It's soy.  The little turd has a milk allergy.

Just what kind of nipple rings were you expecting anyway???


  1. I think you ought to accidentally drop this list on the floor of Target when you're done. Make someone else's day.

  2. Ha ha! And to think I was disappointed that we have to wait for more IEP advice- this is very entertaining in the meantime.

  3. I'm sitting here in Panera being annoyed by this loudly laughing chick. Shooting her dirty looks and everything.

    And then I read this and bust out laughing.


    My husband used to write dirty things on my shopping lists. His favorite?

    "Chin nuts"

    Think about it.

  4. I dare you to go into Target and say, "I heard that you carry those nipple ring things. What aisle are they in?"

    The louder, the better.

  5. hahaha I'm with everyone else and drop the list on the floor at Target

  6. Oh. My. That is nothing short of classic. You should submit it to Damn You Auto Correct even though it didn't originate on a phone. You'll be famous.

  7. Hahaha. Hilarious!

    Wait a minute. You can make a grocery list on your cell phone? :)

  8. The funny thing is...I understood what you meant right away. Sick minds think alike I guess...

  9. Weird thing is.... As I was reading your list, I forgot about the nipple ring thing because I was so confused why you needed "Rambo" on your list. I said to myself, "Self? Why does she have Rambo on her list and What is a Rambo in her town?" LOL A rambo nipple ring?

  10. This is hysterical! As soon as I saw the picture of the bottle, I thought, "yeah, that's probably how I would describe those things, too!" Thanks for the laugh!

  11. Hahaha! Nice one. And you don't have horrible handwriting... mine is so bad I was admiring yours!

    xx Jazzy

  12. Your shopping list is a helluva lot more interesting than mine. I'm intrigued. What exactly are "shoes #5"? Are they located next to the coconut milk? Are you making pina coladas tonight? Can I come over?

  13. I think you really were gonna get "those" rings...come on admit it..My little pony, nipple rings and coconut milk...Now we know the truth.

  14. tulpen, I don't get the Chin Nut...nevermind...gross.

    And I went to St Louis Bread Co tonight!! Yummy! (What you all call Panerra)

  15. My first thought reading your list wasn't about the nipple rings.

    WHY are shoes LAST?

  16. It's been a few years but I knew what you meant! WTF ladies? We should all know what that means... but really, when did you get them pierced?

  17. LOL... Your hubs and mine would get along great. To this day, my hubs can't read "Guess How Much I Love You" do to a small syntactical error... (just read out loud and leave the "brown" out of the rabbit's name/description and you'll see what I mean).

  18. @Teresa--Ohhh, that's a good idea!

    @Christy--I think your hubs has more info...

    @tulpen--i get it on like 3 different levels....scary good...


    @Rachel--I left it out for our weekend guests...

    @Flannery--why, thank you.

    @Sharyn---hummm, that's an idea...

    @DeeAnn--you can but so not worth it!

    @Accidental Expert--great minds think alike!

  19. @Pam--haha!! Ramen noodles...but if the Rambo's make Ramen then that's even better!!

    @Patty O.--Anytime!


    @Grace--size 5 shoes for the baby. Sorry to say I made not alcoholic drinks, but you can come over any time you want.

    @Kathleen--I can admit to nothing......

    @Rebecca--probably a good thing not to get it!

    @Brenda--only because they weren't for me!!! LOL

    @Karen V.--Again, I can admit to nothing...

    @Mom2LittleMiss--I have to go find the book and make the substitution.....

  20. SO funny, I thought maybe this was a technique to catch him not actually reading the list. Brilliant either way.

    I'm still trying to figure out "chin nuts" Tulpen???

  21. hehehehe, giggle, you're funny. Nipple rings. LOL
    Love and hugs.
    Lisa. xx :)

  22. The blog is about nipple rings and how the young children are grabing its attention. An informative blog for parents to read.


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