Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It's so hot I think I'm dying and all I can think about is eating chicken...

Wait, what's that smell?  It smells like chicken.  Gawd I'm hungry....I wonder if my husband brought home some chicken for dinner.  I could go for some Kentucky Fried Chicken. Extra Crispy.  Coleslaw.  Mashed potatoes and gravy.  

Wait.  Wait. Wait.

I think it's me.  That smell is me.  Oh Dear Lord.  It's me.  I stink.  

Its so damn hot, I'm cooking externally and I smell like fried chicken.  All that sunscreen and lunch meat Gracie smeared all over me earlier in the day combined with the heat has turned my natural smell of water blossoms and rose petals into some rank form of funk fried chicken.  

So I've brought the kids inside for a bit and we ate some of these.  God love the American Dream and Dunkin' Donuts.  

Then we went to the pool where Gracie tried to bust out, or at minimum, she tried to look cute and innocent so someone else could take her home and get her out of the heat because I was still cooking.  

And then we stayed at the pool a little longer so I could cook my chicken butt a nice golden brown and crispy.

Hope you all aren't dying out there.  And if you are, for God's sake, get yourself some chicken.


  1. This is friggin hysterical! I smell too, but unfortunately not like chicken!

    Is that you in the bathing suit? If so, I hate you. How can you be this funny AND that thin and pretty? Totally not fair.

  2. Heh. I definitely am not dying, unless its of hypothermia, since it's winter here and currently a mere 14C. (Less than 70F) Love the "smells like chicken" though!!

  3. Ahaha! Lord, it is hot here too. It isn't the heat so much but the 95% humidity making that paltry 97F feel like 115F. Oh, AND, our pool is in the process of being shocked = hell on earth.

    Stay cool, Lady!

  4. I sat in the kids pool all day with them. It only comes up to my waist when I'm sitting, but it was good times.

  5. Yum, it's a good day when you smell like chicken.

  6. I've been hiding at the ice rink..., it's nice the kids are outside for an hour and then cool off for an hour on the ice and it's great!



  7. It's okay, we can stink together. The weather here has been over 100. Not cool. Literally.

  8. I spend the winter at the mall -- trying to find a warm place for little miss to play. This summer, we're at the mall... trying to find a place to cool off. Sigh.

  9. I never thought I could wish like I smelled like chicken but now I do because chicken would be like perfume compared to what I can smell like being outside all day.... or after tennis.... peeee-yewwwww.

  10. Come to Ireland. It's raining and I have the fire lighting....

  11. You need to come to England, I think summer has forgotten us. Thanks for the giggle, I needed a giggle.
    Love and hugs. xx :)

  12. what a hoot.
    my luck I'd smell like garlic not fried chicken!

  13. Oh blimey I've just come in from shopping and I've bought a roasted chicken for tea LOL.

  14. I came over via my favorite whispering writer purely on the strength of your post title, and I'm happy I did. One question: extra crispy or original recipe? The surgeon general recommends the latter.

  15. Is that you in the bikini in the last picture? IS IT?? You. Bitch.

    And the nerve, to rub donuts in my face in the same breath.

  16. @Patty O.--I'm sorry to say, that IS me. Can you see Spanx lady in the background?

    @Broot--I am so jealous!!!

    @Kelly--there is nothing worse than looking at a pool that you can't get in. They closed the pool here for like 20 minutes and there was OUTRAGE. Apparently the chlorine level was too high---no one cared and bused through the gate and went swimming anyway.

    @karensomethingorother--any container with water in it right now is acceptable. Even a fishbowl.

    @AllieF--yeah but I wanted to eat myself and even saying that JUST SOUNDS WRONG.

    @Mel--and I mean this in the nicest of ways, "I hate you." xxoo

    @Whispering Writer--I know, I've been thinking of you trying to adjust with the move. Bet you're sweating down every crack, crevice, whatever. That just sounds wrong too. HOpe you're don dying a too painful death. :)

    @Mom2LittleMiss--Lucky for me the mall is too far away. Really it's like 20 minutes but the kids make it seem like so much longer......

    @Pam--LOL I can just imagine what cooking on the beach!! And on those tennis courts, some have NO SHADE. I cringe just thinking of that!!!

  17. @Looking for Blue Sky--I require alcohol. You have any rum or scotch? Who am I kidding, I'd do lighter fluid if I had too.

    @alienhippy--I'm on the next plane over lady---I miss you too. Love and hugs--y

    @Margaret--Yeah, garlic would kick it up a notch. But then maybe it would clear some extra space at the pool?!? Hey , I thought you were at the lake???? Get back there and have some fun or at least get drunk on the boat!

    @Deb---that funny and gave me a good laugh!!! Just don't think of the drumstick as my thigh. That would be just gross.

    @K A B L O O E Y--why thank you and welcome, WELCOME to my mind. I'd probably be afraid at this point, or at minimum walking away nice and slow, but where's the fun in that?!?
    And excuse my language here but EFF the surgeon general---extra crispy ALL THE WAY.

    @Flannery--You have not seen my face. I'm ugly. And remember how much time a spend on the toilet. NO? A LOT. I raise my glass (filled with nothing stronger than apple juice right now--damn kids interrupting my drinking)to your comedic genius!

    Sorry Whispering Writer for my total lack of proofing a comment before I hit the little post button. I meant to say I hope you're NOT (not don) dying a too painful death.

  18. Great--now I am hungry for some fried chicken!!! :)

  19. So um yeah, kinda with Flannery on this one. Love ya, but if you're gonna post a bikini picture looking like a fit skinny, you should smell like chicken. Poop. There, I said it.

    Seriously though, I love this, because a couple of years ago, I wanted to know who brought the Italian beef to a party, and lo and was my armpits. Our BO could make one serious buffet!

  20. loved your post so much !!!
    you made me literally LOL


Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.