Friday, July 22, 2011

My son wants to make his Aunts Sim's get all sexy. Yeah, you heard me correctly.

I'm not sure how many of you know, this but my sister lives right down the street from me.  Well, not literally right down the street, but if you cut through my back yard and cross the street you get to her street and then she's four houses down on the right.  I know this because every time I slip into casual conversation that my sister lives "right down the street."  I am assaulted with, "No, no no!  That's not right.  Aunt Nichole does not live right down the street.  She lives behind us, though the back yard, across the street, and four doors down on the right.  That's not right down the street, mom.  Duh." 

I stand corrected. 

Crap I forgot what I was going to post about. 

This is where I get up and wonder around the house a bit.  Kick around a bunch of toys and see that the kids have not killed themselves, each other or are thinking of planting the baby in the empty planter on the back porch.  True story.  And as I look over and see the kids on their I-touches I remember it.    

So after Alex bugged me so much to go to his Aunt's house last night that we showed up on her doorstep unannounced and uninvited I was a little more than pissed when he started with all of this garbage in under five minutes of hitting the door:

"UGGGHHH. I'm bored." 

"There's nothing to do here." 

"How long do we have to watch those guys on bikes?"

"There's nothing to do."

"UGGGGGHHH.  I want to go home."

"How long do we have to be here?  Can I watch TV?"

"UGGGGHHH.  How long do we have to stay here???"

Yup, after begging like a misbehaved dog for forty minutes straight, he wanted to go home.  He wanted to bail on the same place he begged to go to in the first place.  Anyone see the irony here?  Not to be out done by my spawn I started up with:

"No, we are not leaving." 

"You can find something to do."

"Go find your Uncle."

"Bug him."  

 I said, "Go Find Your Uncle."

"No we are not changing the channel.  Your Aunt and I are watching the Tour."

I said, "We Are Watching The Tour."

I don't know if you know this either but I'm a road biker so watching the Tour de France is akin to a pedophile asking a kid if they like candy.  And I love candy.  Right now the Tour is my candy.  So, NO, that TV channel was not being flipped.  Period.  

Once a year in July we have a new house rule: Do Not Mess With the Tour.  Oh yeah, screw you Contador.  And buff men on bikes?  In spandex??  In the hot, hot, hot, summer???  Bliss.  Its not like the pool ladies in Spanx, or that crappy chocolate.  The Tour is more like soft porn.  Go watch and you'll see.  It's easy on the eyes.  See?  See why we watch???

Anyway, while we were getting all glossy-eyed watching beautiful men on bikes my sister may have mentioned something to Alex, something along the lines of, "Hey, do you want to play my Sim's?  You can make Aunt Nichole and Uncle Rob do things like go swimming or sleep."  

I don't know.  Remember?  I was watching hot, sweaty men in tights. 

Alex didn't stop complaining till he heard four magic words: "It's on the computer."  At the time it struck me as odd, something akin to saying in that sickly sweet voice, "Does the dogie want a treat?"  And you can actually see the dog stop in mid-motion and go, " Err?  Treat??  Did someone say treat???  I wanna treat.  Where's the treat?"  

Alex was like that dog.  He cocked his head off to the side and said, "Computer?  Aunt Nichole, did you say computer??"

Fast forward to today where I've been harassed since about half past the ass crack of dawn about the Sim's.  Now he has to have a game.  Not only a game, but the game he was playing last night.  And that is just not possible.  We simply cannot take the game off her computer and plop it onto ours. 

Add to it, my sister's game is part of the Sim's Ambitions.  That means he can make his Sim's Aunt and Uncle get all romantic with each other and have babies.  My seven year old is NOT MAKING SIM'S BABIES.  

The Sim's can swim naked it the pool, get in fights, flirt and kill each other.  Not necessarily in that order.  They can rob the neighbor and eat their dog for dinner and call it chicken.  He can make them take a cab to diner and get all sexy in the bathroom.  Add to it, the Sim's do things they want to as well. 

So no, he's not getting my sister's Sim's game.

Nor is he getting a Sim's game of his own.  I'm not caving and just giving him a $39.99 game right now since that's his new thing.  And I'm not spending $6.99 as an App for the I-pad either.  It's not about the money here.  He's going to have to work with me on this one and:

  1. Leave me alone for a little bit about it.
  2. Show me he can not talk about it for a period of time.
  3. Show me he can earn it.  
  4. Respect my decision.
  5. And this is a big one here: try to work with me and think of other things and other ways to get unstuck. 
And that is why I now I have a seven year old who is wondering around the house trying to convince me that he'll die without the Sim's.  Why I've been harassed since 6:00 AM about the Sim's.  Why I've been assaulted with all the reasons why the Sim's are great.  Why they're worth having.  Why he's dying a slow, painful death without them. 

And I get it.  Really, I do.  For him the pain is very real.  He has to have it.  He's stuck on it.  Fixated.  He can't get it out of his head and can find no alternate solutions even when they are presented.  They can not work in his mind.  He's been in meltdown mode and will continue to be all day and well into the night. 

This is truly an issue for us.  Something he needs help understanding and processing.  I have to be able to help him get it, to understand, to become more flexible in his thinking.  Try to help him work through this and gain an understanding of just why we can't always get what we want, when we want it, regardless of the situation. 

Which is precisely why I'm holding firm and making him wait for the Sim's.  Heck, he may not even get it. 

I do him no favors by giving him everything he wants.  When he wants it.  Just because he wants it. 

Trust me.  It's killing me as well. 

And guess what?  After a day of making our lives miserable, he woke up this morning and has not mentioned a peep about the Sim's.  Not a word.  He may have moved onto something new.  I don't know, he may just be plotting his next move.  

I don't know.  I may never know.  

But I do know this: even though yesterday was a living hell, I'm glad I held out for today.


  1. Your sister owes you drinks. Lots of them.

    I hate the "getting stuck" thing. I actually use those words all the time, and tell him "you're stuck, let it go, move on to something else."

    We're not going to make it out of this alive, are we?

  2. You have to admit, the game does sound pretty cool though! Also, I *really* like how you used the dog pictures to illustrate the mood.

    Well done for holding out.

  3. This sounds so so familiar. The latest verbal assault on me in this house is about the fact that he is not allowed to play 18+ games and obviously all his friends are.... This could go one for another 8 years *sighs*

  4. I could write a

  5. Hooray you! I've not heard it called getting stuck and that is exactly what happens. I gotta add that to my vocabulary during the day. During the day. During the day. During the day. Sorry.

    Also, I like that the Sims can eat the neighbor's dog and it tastes like chicken. Chicken. Priceless.

  6. Oh, I thought for sure you were going to say you caved at the end! Keep us posted. :)

  7. Good for you! My son is the very same way...he will obsess over the toy de jour and it will almost kill me not to give in. That's when I remind him who he got his stubborness from.

  8. Oh my goodness, my 7 year old just discovered the Sims on my cell phone games. He kept making the little guy go pee.
    Yeah, tell him to buzz off when you and your sister are watching hot cyclists!

  9. Hopefully, you've heard the end of it, but you shouldn't hold your breath! LOL I know what you mean about not giving them everything. It's just not as easy to follow through with as it is with "typical" kids. Good luck!

  10. Ugh... thank you again for reminding me what I have to look forward to. For now, I'll just thank God that Little Miss is only 3. LOL.

  11. you know what the problem is--Jack (my son) doesn't like toys. He's never known how to play with toys, so when he wants something like a dvd or a new violin bow or whatever, we do tend to want to leap up and buy it for him. He almost lost his mind waiting for his Alice in Vivaldi computer game to arrive from Amazon. He's STILL in denial that he can't get himself a copy of that 1993 Wiggles vhs video with the rare yellow cover.

  12. First with the running, and now with the biking. It never ends with you.

    And please explain this recurrent theme of chicken in your recent posts.

  13. If you get through this by the time I finish trial without buying the SIMS you are my hero. If not, I won't feel so weak. Let me know. ;)

  14. I have not watched the Tour since Lance stopped participating, but I see your point about the soft porn. It's the same reason I watch True Blood!

    Now I need to work on that saying NO thing...

  15. Good job saying No - or at least not right now. And the while "getting stuck" thing? OMG it makes me insane. Seriously, sometimes I want to stab myself in the eye, just so I can get locked away for a psych eval. What a vaca that would be!!

  16. I have no idea how you handle this on a daily basis as it must grind you down so much. Saying that, you are so right to stand firm, hard as it may be :)

  17. Usually we are tour watchers too but this year we don't have VS on cable so we're missing it. I told hubby today that I'm totally bugged out that we aren't watching. I am missing the thighs of steel. Sigh.

    I'm kind of addicted to The Sims. Shhh. Don't tell anyone.

  18. Good on ya! Make him work for it! So, you get the 'taking things literally' too....and the fixation stuff....sigh! It sounds like a hard day for you but once again you made it amusing!

    xx Jazzy

  19. I miss Sims. I used to play all the time.

    My son would probably want to play it if I let him.

    You did a great job not giving in.

  20. BTDT. Had a similar argument about Star Wars the Clone Wars cartoon series recently.

  21. Sorry for the late come back and reply---we've had a bit of a busy weekend here. Sigh.

    I DID wind up getting the app for the I-touch as he was just taking a break from the assault.

    And as he told me, "You don't have to buy the disk mom, all you have to do is go over to Aunt Nichole's and borrow the disk."

    And that is what we did.


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