I may have stretched the truth an told her they were not the kind of animals that can be bought at the store. I may, or may not, have further stretched the truth and stated, "They are sea creatures and we just can't get them here in Kansas."
This time however my mom was at the table.
But before I could get any of that out my mom answers Lizzy, "Oh, you're interested in Hermit Crabs? Do you want to go and see some? I didn't know that! We can run down to PetSmart real quick. Wanna come with Grandma?"
This is the time where we take a magical little interlude because all the neurons in my brain simultaneously stopped firing. Call it shock, numb silence, whatever you will. I stood there slack jaw just watching life move on around me. And now we're back.....
Acckkk! Wait. Stop. Shut up.
SHUT UP. SHUT UP, NOWWW.
I almost dive-bombed my mom from across the kitchen.
I had visions of tackling her football style. Knocking her down and pounding her head into the ceramic floor for good measure. Watching the fork pop out of her hand from the impact and making a perfect arc as it went sailing and then bouncing across the floor. Anything just to get her to shut up about Hermit Crabs.
The damage was done.
I looked over at Lizzie. I have never seen a smile so big.
"Hermit Crabs??? We can get some Hermit Crabs???" Her smile lit up my night for three whole days.
So that is why I am now the proud owner of three Hermit Crabs. One of which I know is going to die in the next forty-eight to seventy two hours and has a shell like a cow's head. I know. A cow head. First off, how on earth am I going to replace that?!? And second, who does that to a shell? Turns it into a cow's head. I feel sorry for the crab having to schlep that thing around.
|I'm gonna bite ya.|
The first two nights we had these things I didn't sleep. I'm still having a hard time sleeping.
|Lizbeth, you're mine.|
They have to go.
Update: So we've had these things for six days now and its official. They're staying. None have died (dam-it) and she's named all three of them.
Oh yeah, and they're in the kitchen, in the dining area.