Monday, July 9, 2012

I will beat boredom with a stick if I have to. Someone hand me a stick.

Remember last week when I wrote this post about how my kids were bored and driving me insane?  Well I was out at a store and found this:


And I was all, "Boredom, I'm going to kick your ass.  Thank you very much Table Topics, you have saved my life and together we are going to survive this summer."  And I picked those things off the shelf faster than my kid spying a box set of Lego's.  And for a brief moment I was happy.

Happy to have something new to do and secretly?  I was lying in wait so the very next time my devil-spawn issued that horrible whine of, "I'm bored" I'd be ready.

And of course it took two whole days for them to utter that little phrase and when they did, I pulled that box out of hiding.  Alex started giggling and Lizzy started eye-rolling.  Gracie, I don't know where she was.  I think she was napping.

Anyway, this was the very first one we pulled out:


Are you fucking kidding me?!?  A ninja?  Seriously?  Did they not read my last post???  I swear the world is conspiring against me.

We did it anyway and they found a spider behind a chair in the living room (mental note to call Orkin) and a few lost Burger King toys and then somebody touched something and before I knew it, I was separating them to opposite corners of the room.

Moving, on, we pulled out the next one:


We did and our cake turned out like this:


Awesome.  Pure awesome.  My husband's birthday cake, a complete and utter mess.  It self destructed in the most unnatural and horrible way I've ever seen.  We could only get like five candles on that thing before the rest of it slid right off the top.  We still ate it and best of all?  We laughed.

Then we pulled out the next card:


My short answer on this is, "No, no she does not like surprises and no she most certainly does not like balloons.  And blowing up her own frigging balloons for her own frigging surprise?  No, no, no."

Moving on....


Now we're talking.  Silence.

I will tell you, this lasted for about one minute before I heard, "Ugggh, this is sooo boring!"


Note: I was not endorsed for anything here.  Table Topics probably doesn't even want to know what else we did with their little cards.  I link to them as a way to give credit,  where credit is due.  And we did have fun with them, we still are.  

40 comments:

  1. I have something like that for at the dinner table. I keep them in the car and use them when we go out to eat. After about 3 cards my kids decide that whatever they brought to play with IS interesting after all.

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    1. Mine went through about five cards before they said, "stuff it, this is worse than having to do laundry," and they went back to harassing each other.

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  2. too funny! The cake cracked me up, I love it. The balloons, are they crazy???? have fun with the rest of them :D

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  3. Balloons? I hate those things. HATE.

    I think the cake is kind of cute, mess and all.

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    1. See, I knew I liked you guys. I can't stand balloons!

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  4. I love the sneaky in you! I can just see your smile the first time they went for the "B" word- hah!!

    And what's wrong with that cake?! Seriously. That looks pretty good given my baking skills... ;)

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    1. I don't know what happened to it. I think I didn't cut off the part that rose in the middle so it would lay flat but whatever, it was good. We ate it...

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  5. The irony of the ninja card still has me chuckling! At least it didn't have them designing ninja stars or anything! The cake is pure awesome. Love that un-naturally occurring shade of blue frosting. Yum! Laughter is the best, though.

    Hope today's card has something about building a fort and giving mom a few hours of peace & quiet...or at the very least, says that they can't use the word "bored" all day!

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    1. I about died when I saw that first card!!!

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  6. Oh my God I hate balloons too...
    I think we need to make up our own special needs family boredom cards.

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    1. We should....now we have to come up with some things for them to do....we already have tubes and pipes. :)

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  7. I don't have kids but I can see uses for these
    I may give these to my husband. Silence for an hour instead of Peg where's my .....
    He could be a ninja in the house and see what he can find - like his socks on the floor,his mess left on the kitchen island, his baseball cap on the stair case instead of the actual coat/hat stand. Hmmmm....where do i find these Lizbeth?

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    Replies
    1. Now that's an even better idea. Make cards for our husbands!!!!

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  8. The ninja card was put there just for you! I am not all that fond of balloons, either. Maybe there's a card in there about making margaritas for your mom?

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    1. Hell no. She needs to make ME alcoholic beverages.

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  9. That cake looks awesome! Love that shade of blue! Seems like the cards that the kids think are fun are the ones requiring you to be in charge of entertainment whereas the ones that are boring are the ones where they have to go entertain themselves and be quiet. See the trend?

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    1. I totally see a trend. Maybe I can stick a few cards in there that read, sweep the floor or put away laundry. THink they'd catch on???

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  10. What if I just beat my kids with a stick instead? Less socially acceptable, though...

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  11. Here's an idea: Will you write a set of Table Topics? Pretty please. Because these kind of suck. Yours, no doubt, would not.

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    1. I will have to think on this....right now mine would be:
      Put laundry in drawers
      Put dishes in dishwasher
      Paint my toenails---hey, my daughter actally likes to do this!

      Too much???

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  12. Take the deck of cards and make a house of cards.

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  13. The care is pure awesomeness.

    say, my birthday is in September... will you let the kids cook for me?

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    1. My birthday is in September too!!! Woo Hoo!!!

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  14. I love that cake. It's blue. And I bet after you ate it, your lips were all blue and you looked like you did something untoward to Papa Smurf. I'm right, aren't I?? Huh??

    Disclaimer: No Smurfs were harmed in the posting of this comment.

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    1. Is is wrong that I wanted to be Smurfette when I was little? But I would have to clobber Grumpy Smurf. He just pissed me off.....

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  15. I'd say the silence one was probably worth the price of the cards. Maybe I should buy some of these for us...

    And I LOVED your sword class post. Oh, crap, I was laughing so hard!

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    1. Don't buy them....just let me send you all the ones that are quiet activities!

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  16. OMG. I was so ready to buy those cards until I saw that cake. And filling a closet with balloons? Who comes up with that crap? My kids would try to EAT the balloons and fill my closet with cake. Yours turned out awesome though. Care to write a blog post explaining exactly how that happened?

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    1. Hahaha!!! I can just see you walking into a closet of cake. In some ways it would be good but on the other hand, not so much.

      I have no clue how it slid and cracked off the top. The only thing I can think is that I didn't cut off the top part where it rose and it cracked off on the sides when I flipped it over and put it on top of the bottom part.

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  17. Ooooh, and My Whacamole Life has a great meme idea! Table Topics! That could be fun! LOL

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    1. You start!!! I can't think of any good ideas other than having them do laundry or do dishes!!!

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  18. Still can't shake the vision of them sneaking up on you dressed in black with ninja masks and swords! The first day. Of summer last year found my kids vacuuming...they thought it was so cool...that one day...for those fifteen minutes!

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    1. Hahahaha!!! My kids when I start cleaning just turn up the TV.....

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  19. Yeah, being quiet would not happen. Connor would just go, "But I don't want to be quiet, I don't like this game. Can I watch TV?"

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    1. Uggghhhh, they do that too. I so wish they would get out from under the spell of the TV.

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  20. It seems like these cards make waaaaay more work for mom than they are worth! Except the ninja one is pretty bad ass. But balloons and cakes? My daughter would want a full out party!

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    1. It totally worked it was around my husband's birthday.....and they wanted to streamers and the whole works too!!!

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  21. BWAHAHAHAHAHA. But I totally give you props for trying. And props are kind of like sticks, right? So, here's your stick. You're welcome.

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    1. Hahaha!!! Thank you. Now let me go find a kid....

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