Tuesday, February 22, 2011


I am thoroughly confused right now.  Alex is going through a rough patch and I'm clueless as to what's going on.  He doesn't articulate when he's upset or when he's not feeling well so I'm truly limited by my lack of understanding.  It's such a sick helpless feeling to not understand your own child.  

There have been several changes in his life right now and any one of these can be the impetus for a bad couple of days.  But even then, I don't think they're enough to set him back to this extent.  I'm struggling as to why he's reverting back to his some of his old behaviors.  I know he's self stimming and I know he's trying to self calm and regulate but I don't understand why its happening now, with such intensity. 

He's been complaining of his stomach hurting on school mornings and at first I subscribed it to the fact that I freaked out when the kids started puking at school.  I harped on him about washing his hands and I thought he just picked up on my anxiety.

Then he started chewing on his shirts again.  I about died when he came home with his shirt chewed through.

Now he's making gasping noises, coughing and clearing his throat.  A lot.  Like, all the time.

He's been spitting, not on people, but blowing raspberries any time he disagrees with someone.  Kinda like a F-you, Alex style.

He's been getting upset at the drop of a hat and he stomps around the house and he's started hitting himself.

He's chewing and pulling on his bottom lip and flicking people if they get too close.  He's even gone back to standing at the table as he can't, just can't, seem to sit still.

I've been in contact with his teachers at school and they've noticed his behaviors as well.  I'm fortunate that this year I have a teacher who truly understands Alex and gets that he's a beautiful little boy. 

But I'm still left with that lingering feeling that somethings not right and all these things combined has me worried.  I don't know what is going on and I don't know what he's going through.  It is time like these that I would give anything, yes anything, to get into his mind and sort out all the worry and angst.  To calm him, settle his mind, make things right.

I hate this feeling, the utter helplessness of being Alex's mom.

I love you to bits little man...


  1. I know EXACTLY what you are feeling. Been there many times - and will be there many more. All I can say is don't give up trying to figure it out, and know that sometimes you won't figure it out until months after it's done - but that knowledge will help you in future situations.

    For the shirt chewing, we had Simon wear a clip-on tie to school and chew on that. Spared his shirts. Not all kids will be into wearing ties, but Simon thought it was cool. He wore it with a fedora ;)


  2. Thanks Caitlin--I know it's something I just dont know what...I'm not sure Alex will do a tie but I'm getting a good visual! Thanks, I'll keep you posted--L

  3. It's so hard when we know by their behavior they are trying to tell us something but we just cannot figure out what it is! I so want to help but I'm sure you know more than me just by virtue of the fact that your child is 7 and mine is 4.5 +. But, maybe you could get someone to shadow him at school or an aide to help you find what the trigger is. It must be happening out of your site at school or, in my experience, when my son is going through a growth spurt his behaviors increase as well.

    At any rate, found you because you found me first! Your blog is very nicely set up and your writing flows easily. I like it! I will be back.

  4. Hi Karen--thanks, you're sweet! I wish I could shake it out of him(that would be wrong) but I'm left playing detective. I had them increase supports at school and we're taking it easy at home. Let's just say the I-pad is getting a workout!


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