Friday, March 18, 2011

I saw stars, beautiful shiny stars...

I've not been a good bloggie friend.  Sorry.  The kids have been on Spring Break and I thought I'd be on the computer trying to escape by Tuesday and the kids would be chewing the sides off the sofa by Wednesday but the week has gone by remarkably fast.   Hubs took some time off as well.  That right there throws a wrench in my plans.  I mean, I can't possibly have him see me on the computer like all day, reading posts, checking stats, and commenting all over the place.  I've actually had to get food for the kids, do laundry and play outside and act all house-wifey and stuff.  The gig's up on Monday but until then I have to keep up a good front.

Along with Bike Camp, all our routines have been chucked out the window--we stay up late and still get up at the same time.  We've been eating crap since Tuesday and we're trying to finish up the last bits of the remodel so consequently I've been dealing with exhausted, cranky kids. 

But look!  

The whole bike camp thing has taken up a lot of our time and I'll be glad when it's over.  There is a girl there, about thirteen, named Sheyanne.  She's a beautiful young girl and her only downfall is her mother.  She is a Soccer Mom.  You can hear this woman yell from outside the gym.  And she doesn't stop.  All fucking class she yells at her kid.  And every time, Sheyanne flinches.  Every time.
All I've been hearing since Monday is, "COME ON SHY-ANN, MOVE THOSE LEGS!  DON'T LET ME DOWN!  SHY-ANN.  Move, Move MOVE!"  Use your arms.  You're Arms Shy-Ann!  YOUR ARMS!" 

Then when she's done yelling she gives an exasperated "humph" and paces the side wall of the gym like she's an exhibit at the zoo.  And then she starts up again. 

It's been horrible to watch this unfold.  The program itself has been incredible, watching the kids fly and she's been shitting all over it.  They've asked her to leave and stand outside but she still works her way in.  Sheyanne does beautifully when her mom's gone and she was coasting around the tennis court yesterday.  Out of nowhere the yelling starts and Sheyanne promptly biked herself into the fence.  Went ass over handlebar and face-planted it.  She was sobbing.  The director was furious.  She actually took her inside and when they both came out, soccer mom was muzzled.  Amen.  But not before she spewed this land mine.  Keep reading...

We've been working up Alex for a tic disorder.  When he comes around the corner he has a facial tic---like a grimace.  He does it every corner.  It freaks the hell out of me to see him do this but he can't help it.  The whole bike thing is stressful so I look past it, and see the little boy I love underneath.  I understand he's stressed and me freaking out will not help him in the least.  So I suck it up, bury how I feel and stand proud.  Soccer mom had the stones to yell at him as he came around the corner, " HEY ALEX, WHY DON'T YOU SMILE?"

OK.  That's It.  She's crossed it.  She didn't tip toe over it, she fucking plowed through it like an army tanker.  That goddammed gorilla has the balls to yell at my kid?!?  For a brief second I saw how the cosmos was formed.  Saw stars.  Blinding white gloriously shiny, little white fluttery things.  Beautiful, just beautiful.  And then I came back down.  

And right then I wanted to thank my child psychologist for giving us anger management coping techniques because I found myself counting to ten, deep breathing and repeating incessantly, "I will not kill the bitch, I will not kill the bitch" while gripping the seat of the stadium bleachers.

When  I was sort of composed I walked over and said this: "For the remainder of this class I would appreciate if you would not talk to me or my child.  Ever.  He has a tic disorder and while that would normally be none of your business, you yelling at him has gutted him like a fish."  And I turned around and walked away.

I could say more about soccer mom but other than being stupid bitch I have nothing.  I feel sick about her, how she treats others, and most of all how Sheyanne has to go home with her and what her life is like.  I don't want her to tarnish an otherwise busy and fun week so I'm going to leave it at that.

I'm off to bake cookies for all the volunteers and helpers at Bike Camp and I have to keep up the house-wifey front for a few more days.  See, the whole baking cookies bit falls right in place.   Wish me luck!!!


  1. You have remarkable self-control. Seriously, it must have been hard to leave it at that, but what you said to her was good. Poor little Sheyanne.

    Glad to hear you've made it through Spring Break in one piece. :)

  2. O. M. G. You freaking rock for having the restraint to only say what you did!!!! I can't believe these soccer moms that do that to their kids. It's sad and shameful. But to say something to someone else's kid? Balls. Unreal.

  3. I feel for little Sheyanne, poor kid. Well done you though. And hooray for kice camp, what an awesome photo!

  4. You deserve some kind of medal for keeping your temper. What an awful woman, poor Sheyanne.

  5. Holy crap on a cracker! I admire very much freakin admire you..because I would have been chanting "Crush Kill destroy!!" Love how you saw the cosmos form-made me alugh..Wow..poor Sheyanne...Glad you are eating junk food-it is the base of my food pyramid..

  6. ummm..must learn to not type with made me laugh...I have absolutely no idea what a "alugh" is..;0

  7. What a dirty @$%*( for saying something like that to Alex!! You handled it so well. I'm not sure I would have been restrained like that. When it comes to your child, the gloves are off!! I hope you got through to her and that she will come up and apologize to you.

    I love your absolute contrast with baking cookies for everyone. You so ROCK!! You definitely are having an exciting week...

  8. You told that story really well, I laughed and I got mad LOL
    That woman!!!!grrrr ,feels so sorry for Sheyanne, esp as those kids rarely rid themselves of those parents even as adults :(

  9. What a bitch. Seriously. That poor kid isn't going to end up well if that what she lives with day in and day out. I'm headed into spring break myself....pray for me.

  10. @ everyone--thanks, Sheyanne did manage to get on two wheels, no thanks to her mom, Grrr.

    I received no apology from her---only mean stares---whatever. She stoped talking to me and my kid so I'll take it!

    @ Kathleen--I think an alugh is the little white micron sized thingie that starts the formation of a galaxy....hummm.

    @ Lynn--I'm praying but I'm not sure it will help--I'm not exactly a good cathloic, if you know what I mean... ;)

  11. YAY I figured out who you are lol!! And I love love love ur blog!!

    Can I just say that I would have cut her a new one, anger management or not. lol but that's just me, I'm like the friend you call when some evil person has messed with you and you need back up haha that's me.


  12. @ RacersMommy--thanks, someday I may take you up on that! ;) thanks for the compliment--you're way too sweet!


Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.