One simple little rule...

As we all sat around the dinner table I had a fleeting thought, this is a mess.  We were talking over each other, no one using a fork or napkin, Gracie throwing stuff off the side of her tray and screaming, all the while trying to writhe out of her chair.

I found myself wanting a soft mallet. 

So I've decided to reign them in a bit and set up a new rule for the dinner table.  One new thing.  That is it.  That's all I can handle.

So here it is.  I ask the kids to share a little bit about their day.  I'm doing this in the hopes of improving Alex's communication skills as he can't get through one question without completely loosing interest. 

So this is how it went last night...

Me: Hey guys, quiet. Guys, I'm talking....guys....QUIET.
Gracie: Screaming.
Lizzy: I want salt. 
Alex: No, I am most certainly not going to eat that.  

Me: OK now that everyone's listening, we're going to do a new thing at dinner.  We're going to tell each other one thing about our day. 

Two hummphs, one bang.  This is going swimmingly. 

Me: I will start off to show you how it's done.  Well, I got up and had a cup of coffee, made breakfast...
Alex: Mom, mom.  Did you pee?  Did you brush your teeth?  You're out of order, mom.  We get up and first we pee, then we get dressed, then we brush our teeth and then we eat.  You went out of order.      

Shit.

Me: OK, you're right, I did go out of order.  That's not the point, we're just talking about our day and what we did. 

Alex: But you did go out of order, mom.  That's not how we do it.  Next!  As he says 'Next' he has this little flourish with his wrist like he's totally done with this exercise and has utterly moved on. 

Oh Lord, what was I thinking.... 

Me: OK.  So I got up, peed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and had breakfast.  I....
Alex breaking in: Mom, mom, did you forget the coffee part?  You forgot the coffee part. 

Me: OK, who's next?  I'm out.

For the first time there was utter silence at the table.

Me: Alex, tell me about your day. 
Alex: No.
Me: Alex, you know how this works.  Please tell us about your day.  What did you have for breakfast?
Alex: I had oatmeal.  That is all. 
Me: That's all you had for breakfast, just oatmeal?
Alex: No, that is all. I am done talking.  Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: No, it is not next.  Did you ride a bus for your field trip?
Alex: Yes.
Me: You did, that's great!  Who did you sit next to?
Alex: Mrs Brush. Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: That must have been fun.  Did you like the play?
Alex: No.  Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: You didn't?  Hum. It was supposed to be Goldilocks and the Three Bears, was it?
Alex: Yes.  But it was not the same as what you told me.  I'm done.  Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: Hummmm.
Alex: I told Mrs Brush it was not the same and I was not happy about that. Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: OK, how was it not the same?  Can you help me understand?
Alex: No.  It was just different.  Next!  Flicks his wrist.
Me: OK sweetie, thanks for sharing with us.  Lizzy, you're up!
Lizzy: No.
Me: Lizzie, come on....
Lizzy: NO. Next!  Flicks her wrist.

They all break out in peals of laughter. 

Swimmingly, just swimmingly...