And it broke my heart.
It killed me to see him so anxious, so worried and sick about, well about, just about everything. Like a slow progression throughout the school year he added stressors and anxieties. He added too, all the modalities he uses to deal with them. All the flapping, articulations, facial tics and stims, all the chewing gum, tapping and lip rolling. You name it, he did it. Little by little they added themselves to his backpack and he carried them. As the year progressed it got heavier and heavier.
This past summer I made the bold move of canceling all our therapies and let the kids be kids. As soon as school was out we put all his school things away and went on vacation.
And seeing Alex in the sand and in the ocean, well, it was like watching a years worth of angst and turmoil falling off of his shoulders. Like taking off that backpack for the last time, all of his worries landed with a gentle thud onto the sand.
And he didn't look back. Like magic he was free.
So you see, I'm not too excited to look forward. I know within twenty seconds of hitting those school doors all the anxiety and stress is going to come flooding back. And it's going to come back with such force and fury I'm going to be swept up and away wishing desperately I could turn back the clock.
While I may not be too happy to look forward, I'll gladly look back. Here we go.
This past summer was hot. Really hot. We started off going down to Sanibel and taking two weeks and relaxing. That meant building sand castles and swimming and looking out and seeing pretty things like this. I've sugar coated it here but if you want to read more on our cluster called a vacation you can read about it here, here and here. And here and here and here. And here and here. Yeah, it was that much fun.
Then we came home and it was hot. Really hot. Like this hot:
And it stayed that hot, all though June, most of July and now into August. And to think I've not lost any water weight. I don't get it.
So we lived most of the summer at the neighborhood pool. Got up most days and were there by 10:00AM and hoped like hell none of them drowned. Anyone ever asks how I stay so thin it's because I'm scared to death I'm going to loose one of them and find them floating face down in the deep end.
We went out one day for a change of scenery and found this beautiful specimen of a pool. It was probably a good thing I took them there this past week and not early June. I would not have heard the end of it.
|This is not our neighborhood pool. I wish.|
The kids did a lot of this:
|This epitomizes my daughter. I'm in trouble.|
|Must fix goggles. |
CAN NOT GET WATER IN EYES.
And a little of that:
|You know how hard it is to get all three of them in a pic?!?|
|I have no idea what she's pointing at.|
But most of all my kids relaxed. They had fun. They taught me to have fun, calm down and to cuss a lot less. I take that back. I still cuss like a sailor. I'm trying not to but its just not working. Sigh.
And my little boy went from being afraid of the water to doing this:
Now I will tell you, in order for me to take that picture it cost us:
- All of last summer, just to get one foot into the water.
- Three solid months of swimming lessons this year.
- One good puke per day, either in the pool or out, depending on the proximity to the edge.
- About a year shaved off my life caused by putting sunscreen on everyone except myself.
- Approximately thirty four bags of Bugles. What can I say, I'm a hooker for a bag of Bugles. Don't get me started on the joy a bag of Carmel Bugles can bring me.
- More meltdowns than I can shake a stick at.
- Two really good sunburns, cuz you know, I look good in red.
- And more foul language than I would care to admit.