Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I'm living with a Valley Girl. Yay me!

My son is talking like a Valley Girl.  I have no idea where he picked up this new use of vernacular but it has to stop.  It slowly started to happen last week and he's now morphed into a complete Valley Girl. 

Like totally!

His new favorite word is duh, with the perfect inflection.  He uses the word like, like 451,003 times a day.  He's thrown in the word totally as well.  I think he picked that one up from me but the sheer fact he's adapted it to Valley Girl talk amazes me.  I'm secretly impressed.  But I'm also about ready to drop a brick on my foot for the sheer pleasure of having a sensory issue rather than an auditory one. 

Like, Oh My Godyou know I like oatmeal for breakfast?  Duh?  

Yes Alex, I do.

Well, duhSo, I'd totally like my oatmeal now, duhAnd I'd totally like some chocolate chips with that.  Like Duh.  Duh.

That's one example.  Now magnify it to Every Single Time he talks.  I feel like clawing my eyes out with a fork.  I must be a sensory seeker.  Anyway, every bloody sentence is started with an Oh My God and ended with a duh.  And it's all said with that perfect little Valley Girl tone and pitch. 

To think I was worried when he was three that he was going to be talking like a robot for the rest of his life.  What-ev-er.  We worked on inflection and sing song prosody for almost two years and I'm happy to say he can now choose to talk like a robot, if and when, he wants too. 

At seven, he's now picking up terms and phrases and he's using them.  I know this is a good thing developmentally.  He's taking things from around his world and testing them out.  He's stretching his wings.  Only thing is, I think he's using this one for the sole purpose of pissing me off.  I can see a little giggle, a glint, in his eyes when he says it. 

And I think it's become his new thing.

Oh My God this is totally killing me.

Well, duh.

Note: If anyone tells him of the word tubular or even mentions the phrase gag me with a spoon I may, just may, come over there and beat you.  I'm not above inflicting bodily harm.


  1. Like, what gives? How could you not totally love that? Know what I mean? Duh!

  2. Where did that come from? A cartoon character? WTF? I will hope for your sake that it's a short-lived verbal tic. Totally.

  3. Haha...I was totally going to go with, "Like gag me with a spoon!" But then I saw your disclaimer at the bottom. So, like, never mind. What-ev-'er!

    Seriously, much sympathy to you on this one. :-/

  4. Oh, like, barf! That's so totally bogus! What-evs. Like, I'm so sure you knew to like put those chips in the oatmeal, right? That's way awesome!

    Sorry, it's just like so excellent to talk like this. I can so totally, like, get how addictive it is... <3 xoxox

  5. So he's already 13? I think I picked up that speak when I was a teen...early teen and then dropped it quick. Good luck

  6. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

  7. Is he doing it to wind you up? That's hysterical.

  8. Like, I don't know, I kinda like the whole Valley Girl thing. Reminds of, like, when I had hair.

  9. Like awesome, like wow, like totally freak me out! I say Okay! Right on! Cuz we are number 1!

  10. I starting laughing at the first sentence and didn't stop. He's seven? Oh dear...

  11. Like gag me with a spoon. This must, like, totally suck. FOR SURE!

    Whoops. I missed the disclaimer!

  12. I'm like, so totally laughing my ass off! And like, I would never try to annoy the, you know, fuck out of you? But, oh my God, I totally get that you're, like, so ready to thrown down right now.

    Here's a link to a video you might like, about how it's hip to put a question mark after every, like, statement? Just don't watch it in front of your kid, because if he adds it to his, like, repertoire? You will so totally go ballistic.

  13. That is like too funny.

  14. Ya know, I knew I was setting myself up for these kind of comments. Duh!

    I like, OMG, totally love it!!

    And the worst part is, I want to re-live the 80's with him and give him a run for his money...LOL

  15. I so totally think you should re-live the 80s, get a mullet and, like, oh my god, totally freak him out? And like, you could even go back to the 70s and wear, ya know, paisley polyester shirts? Euuuwwwww.

    Of course, Alex's picking up on speech patterns is so totally rad that maybe you totally shouldn't mess with it.

  16. Rachel you crack me up! I know, I totally want to mess with it but it would be wrong. :)

  17. As long as he doesn't start wearing fingerless lace gloves and asking for rides to the mall, I think you may be ok.


Comments make me all squishy but remember to be nice. If you're not nice then what you said goes *poof.* There's your warning.